My first year of incarceration was like a bullet straight to my brain!!!Harsh realities brought me to my knee’s trying to make sense of a 40 year sentence for arm robbery and related offences.My support was my mother and the mother of my children who gave me there heart and soul,I had no other support.
I was locked up in suffolk regional jail where I first came into contact with openly out right raw racism,The staff treated us like animals in terms of how they feed us,how they communicated with us all the way to the court house and how the old racist judge stirred at me and cast down his sentence like my life didn’t even matter…My story didn’t matter,nor did my four kid’s my mother brother or sisters didn’t matter.My lack of education didn’t matter lack of understanding of the law didn’t matter,And of course my skin didn’t matter.
This is the norm for these out of touch racist judge’s to see so many black faces and only the crime attached and then cast a judgement that in most case’s inflicts death on our soul’s and family structures…I thought only if the judge knew the pressure I had to provide for my kid’s,myself with limited resources no real work skills an unstable mind being introduced to so much violence and chaos soon as I open the door to go outside.My streets affected my mind in ways war affect our soldiers coming home from the military….yet they get compassion,And the little they get is because of the fruits our government reap for the atrocities and blood they have spilled on the earth soil.During my first year in this jail my actions was reckless to say the least,I stop caring about my life I literally just gave up,my baby mother had left me once I got my time and this devastated me she was my spine and only sort of happiness and loyalty I had in my life at a time like this.It was probably selfish of me to allow her to stick around,However I needed her or at least I thought I did.
I was sent to segregation or what we call the hole for a fight with another prisoner I lashed out and struck him over a mop bucket and broom that he had in his possession that supposedly went to me first to clean my cell…While in the hole
I was very agitated all I had was myself, the staff there didn’t give us books to read other then the bible.All I could same to think about was the love of my life,My kid’s,my mother,sister’s and everyone who depended on me.I couldn’t take it anymore I start losing my mind I tryed to hang myself the guards rushed my cell and placed me on suicide watch for which id spend the next 30 day’s on a cold steel bunk with no matress butt naked freezing cold…every week the nurse would evaluate me to see if I were stable to leave the strip cell,The racist staff would insist I needed another week.It was days that they walk by my cell without feeding me my finger food as they would call it,this was food that didn’t require objects such as forks or spoons I would have to eat with my hands.I started to lash out and started throwing feces on them and prisoners who would laugh at my conditions,I was starting to lose my mind I would sat naked in the middle of my floor playing with feces and drawing on my wall with my own body waste.They put me on so much medication that one day I was in the gym while still being held in segregation,someone threw me a basketball and it seemed as if it was coming in slow motion and then it hit me in my face,boom!Then reality hit me…No more medication period!While off the meds,one of the prisoners was feeding lunch and he developed a liking to me seeing my struggles and he would often times give me an extra tray.This day they served fried chicken as he handed me the extra tray one of the racist staff seen him and ask me to give it back….I said no and started to eat the tray,the racist officer was black lol apparently he hated himself…He got my door open and attempted to take the tray needless to say food was everywhere all over the place and extra staff rushed my cell and I was placed in what you call the buck chair In the middle of the gym butt naked strapped to a chair for five hours straight.The workers coming pass would see me and some would laugh others seemed to have genuine concern and mixed emotions.Two weeks later while sent to Portsmouth jail to appear for a child support case a deputy jerked my arm for me to move at his pace,I struck him with a punch to his face he responded with a elbow that almost knocked my two front teeth out,thankfully I brush and floss all the time lol but the elbow split my mouth wide open my lip needed stitches and blood was everywhere they refused me medical attention and made me sit in court in front of my family humiliated…. Things had got a little better right before I left the jail my mother was down on me about staying strong and pulling it together.I had started to read the newspapers and listen to people in the hole that had sharp minds as what I now would call free thinker’s people who wasn’t inserted into the matrix talk religion, politics,and I was blown away by events taking place in Iraq and Afghanistan.I had never cared much for politics we was on the block thugging so hard that we didn’t even know who the President was when the towers dropped! I finally got packed up and sent to Powhatan reception center for a 30 day classification process and they draw your blood and things of that nature.This prison was the street’s behind a wall for sure,prisoner’s making babies with the staff member’s,endless drugs from marijuana,coke,pills and some of the best homemade wine you could ever taste.We were corrupting officers to bring in drug’s using there bodies as conduits,Something the size of my thumb could bring me 10,000 or more easy.I got into a fight when a prisoner I knew from the jail had stole a 60 cent note pad from me,My little brother who I haven’t seen in a year had just arrived there with me he begged me to leave it alone but I couldn’t.
I was told that if I allowed someone to steal/take from me that everyone would feel they can do it as well.As soon as I seen him I lunged a couple punches that knocked him down I then attacked for the kill and jumped on him and kept pounding him,the white c/o sat there laughing cheering me on to destroy the thief….I had no compassion just like the judge right in front of my eyes I was becoming like my enemy I didn’t understand why he stole from me.Now it hit me he was poor and didn’t either have the support I had or poverty turned him into a peasant…I was took to the hole where I met powerful minds and a guy named powerful that gave me supreme mathematics this proved vital in years to come…Per classification,I was sent to (wallens ridge state prison)at the time was a super max in Virginia.And out right slave plantation for the things I seen and been through there no man should ever experience…
The practices and level of hate for Black’s,and Latino’s would remind you of a old Jim crow era movie! But this was not a movie,this was real as it gets,and this experience made me the soul I am today..No cap!
just a year before I arrived from receiving I heard the news of a man being killed up there by way of a taser,and that that was like the fourth reported death of an prisoner.They had the cold mining community on the news pleading for the Feds to not close the prison down due to six officer’s being prosecuted over the death of another prisoner.Quick note I use the word prisoner or captive to express the moral reality of those confined in the penal system for the most part we are political prisoners or victim’s to an unjust system that our political reality binds us to.The Latin word for inmate expresses that one is in a mind set of a mental patient,,and in most case’s that’s exactly what this world creates if your not conscious of it.The Latin word for convict suggest that a prisoner has become content and accepted his or her role being confined.However once I and several prisoners arrived at this plantation there was a group of about 50 big out of shape deranged looking white men who were looking at us as we weren’t even human being’s as soon as we stepped off the van we were beat to a pulp while in handcuffs & shackles,blood was ozzing out of my right ear for to this day it is hard for me to hear out of!This was one of many practices that changed my out look on people of European descent forever…The state to this day serves us varieties of processed meats,some harmful then other’s after consuming these meat product’s for over two year’s not knowing the harm it was causing my organ’s and overall immune system,one day I tryed to use the restroom and I couldn’t.The next three days were the same I was scared to death It felt like I was dying.So I seeked medical attention and nothing seemed to work,I thought my faith was sealed the nurses advised me to drink a lot of water and work out,I was starting to throw up my food…Lord have mercy on the man doing time with no support and forced to eat these state trays.It’s an old African proverb (he who feeds you control’s your diet and he who builds your home controls its strengths and weaknesses.)I started to work out fiercely,insanity training very militant.And after being handcuffed and took out of the mess hall for sitting at the wrong table I was held in segregation for two year’s!!!
Face to face with the man in the mirror no’more hiding Mr.Tucker come out wherever you are.Yeah,c/os bucked on my trays for days at a time just to survive it was days I had to consume bugs for I learned from an old convict that they were a great source of protein and self preservation is indeed the first law of nature.I was hit with two cans of oc gas which almost killed me and left me dying for air,the racist c/o tryed the same old tactic and placed a empty tray on my slot for the camera to believe I got feed I reached my arm out the slot and quickly snatched a tray and he tryed to jam my arm in the slot then released the gas,the nurses came and asked me do I want a shower I refused they would only beat me up once away from cameras outside the cell I was not a fool!
There was days that you could look out your cell window and see prisoners being dragged butt naked in the snow to the hole.During this seg stint was the best thing that ever happen to me I studyed the history of the world inner and outter,I learned about racism and the root of it,I studyed the slave trade’s,black history mathematics,science,capitalism,democracy,socialism,communism,Karl Marx and Engel’s.All the world war’s,revolutionaries and then I found myself…
The pain of betrayal and my love ones dissipated when I found love for myself and humanity I built a new love and state of awareness through different degrees of consciousness, I was able measure the systematic oppression,The psychological warfare the prison was waging on our minds by having two prisoner’s sleep in the same cell on a super max prison,Walking racist dog’s two inches beside us every time we go to eat or anywhere, they trained the dog’s to hate Black’s.I also must say I am not against white people I’m against white supremacy and oppression.The enemy of my enemy is my friend!
This prison is ran by X cold miner’s around big stone gap va,They were promised Job’s and better economics in exchange to break some of the so-called ruthless black negroes…
This prison to this day is still carrying own some of the vicious tactics you will ever see,They have there on gang,most belong to the clan I’ve met a few grand wizard’s up there that openly discuss there hate for my skin and advise me not to look them in there eye.In return I spit in there face and take my discipline.Indeed black lives should matter,but our reality the way were killing each other and not sticking together if we don’t respect ourselves who else will or should?pt.2 In order.
Travis Tucker #1091722
Categories: Travis Tucker