Caught up in this wave, my arms are tired of paddling.

It would be so easy to stop kicking and slip away.

My head above the surface, my body full of pain.

Crying out for someone, my heart feels the strain.

The tide keeps pulling me under, I need to breathe, and I keep thinking that my life was a waste.

All that i could have done, the words I’ll never get to say.

My lungs fill with shame, and yet, here I remain.

Why do I choose this pain? I keep swimming for what reason? What do I hope to gain?

Barreling underwater twisted in this wave, I come up, the sun shines bright upon my face.

Suddenly I realize that I cannot escape my fate.

Effort spent on suffering, and fighting this wave, contemplating past days, becomes a waste.

Floating in the ocean, I meditate.
Understanding, I must let go, to live fully in this moment before I am washed away.

This choice I make, to become one with the wave.

I release all of my pain, I let it go, I’ll just let it be,

For this breath of life, right now, is all that I need,

sliding down this wave as it tumbles over me.

I can see through the other side, as water flows under me.

I smile, and give thanks to the Great Spirit watching constantly.

I am grateful to have chosen joy amongst the chaos this ocean brings.

For I am free to have faith, and believe, that every moment that I live, I can live purposely lovingly, laughing happily, awakened spiritually, living the visions I imagined to become my reality.

Zachary James Santos
DOC #300774