James DeWitt

WHY SHOULD I BE HEALED? by James DeWitt

Tell me why should I be healed when I’ve hurt so many others? Being oblivious to the impact your life and your decisions have on the lives and the decisions of others, makes it easy to form a pathway of destructive thinking which leads to destructive behavior. I hurt so many. Not just the physical hurt (which I’ve done also), but the mental hurt that I’ve inflicted on the minds of my love ones and my friends. Especially my kids. What would ever say its okay to seek healing for myself when the pain of my absence still resonate in the hearts and minds of my children. Even though they are young adults they have the shame, guilt, and embarrassments of having a father who’s mistakes will outlive his name. How far from healing am I if I can’t see that the wounds I’ve placed on them needs to be tended to so that the bleeding can stop. It’s clear that I must kick in gear and focused on how I can bring healing to them which I expect in turn will deliver healing to me. The correct method of bringing this is hiding from eyes. My thoughts, My Feelings on this April 8th, 2018

James DeWitt
DOC #1007872

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9 replies »

  1. When I read this, I’m reminded of the Apostle Peter’s words when he first encounters Jesus as someone who desires to draw near to him. Peter wasn’t a righteous man. He was a sinner like most of us. But unlike most of us, his sins were ever before him. Even in the moment when the Lord came in search of him. The Bible records in Luke 5:8 that he fell to his knees and pleaded with Jesus, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” Peter believed that he didn’t deserve to be in the presence of the Lord. He believed that he didn’t deserve any good. Jesus though tells Peter, “Do not be afraid.” Jesus knew his sins. Jesus still drew near.

    In Psalm 51:16-17, the Bible says through a Psalm of David, “For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. A broken and contrite heart, He will NEVER despise. Do you have such a heart, James..? I think you do.

    Do we deserve to be healed..? I’ll be honest, I don’t think we do. I personally do not believe I deserve the healing I have received from the sins of my past. But.. when Jesus comes for you, He comes for you. Peter pleaded that he be left alone in his misery, but Jesus did not let Him be. He still came for him. Whether you believe you deserve to be healed or not, He desires to heal, James. And if you ever find that He is drawing near to you, please remember the words that He said to sinful Peter, the one who was destined to become foremost of His 12 disciples: “Do not be afraid.” Do not be afraid, James. You are loved…

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    • I think it comes down to one word: Grace. Grace is a synonym for “Choice”– how and what to do with the freedom you’ve been given (from God, from forgiveness if that has happened, and largely from yourself.) You will never loosen those shackles until you work on forgiving yourself. It’s a process (but again, that’s why there’s grace!)

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  2. James — God’s grace is bigger than anyone’s sin — yours, mine, everyone else’s — including the sins of those close to you that you may have hurt. Here’s the apostle Paul in Romans 5 telling it like it is: “But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” That’s a powerful, life-changing passage. It means that God’s love can cover our sin — all of it. Once you can accept God’s forgiveness, you can forgive yourself, and then you can heal and help your family, whom you obviously love very much. God bless you.

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  3. James. Thank you for sharing this.

    We all get lost in our own ways in our lifetimes. Sometimes those off roads are longer, sometimes shorter, but ultimately, as long as we have breath in our lungs and the capacity for faith and hope, we can come back. Wiser, stronger, more compassionate.

    It is important to heal the self, to forgive the self, to learn to love oneself. Because if we don’t first do this work, it wouldn’t matter what forgiveness we got. We wouldn’t believe it. We are human. We make mistakes. Remorse is good, it serves as a catalyst to do things better in future. Keep going. Explore those wounds, boldly. There is a light at the other side.

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  4. Remorse for past deeds can lead the way forward to better things. Like some of the others say, forgiving yourself first is the beginning. Then you can move on and deal with the rest. Bless you

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  5. I believe that every one deserves to be healed. No matter what you have done or who you have hurt in the past, you acted from your own wounds and from a place of pain from deep within. This doesn’t mean making excuses for whatever you have done but just giving yourself a little compassion. Healing starts with forgiving ourselves, we must forgive ourselves to move forward and grow. Wish you, healing, health and happiness on your journey.

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  6. As someone who has been hurt by others who should have gone to jail for what they did…what can I say? I’d like to say something that will help…and I hope this does.

    I look at it this way, we have choices, we make them. That includes those that do damage and those that allow the damage to dictate their life choices because of that damage.

    What am I saying?

    I’m nearly 50 years old. I have been abandoned, abused, and neglected. It’s ugly. My life was threatened, I lived as a POW for the first 18 years of my life, held hostage by an evil man and my mother. Then I married a guy too much like my mother and I was held hostage by mental, financial and verbal abuse. I was locked up inside.

    In the end I realized I had something. I had a choice. I choose. Every day I choose my path and I take responsibility for my healing. That’s all I can do…is do me. Be me. All me.

    There is only so much YOU can do, not just because of where you are, but because you are not them. Your children and the people that you have hurt have a choice to make. They can choose to heal, to go through the actions necessary to heal. They can spend time learning about what they have been through, what you have been through. You can talk to them about the choices you made if they and you are both ready for that. And ultimately the healing will be seeing you take responsibility for your choices, being willing to answer the questions, own the past which was your path and own the present, and the future of where you want to go.

    My path is not done, no ones is…it’s a long road for all of us, no matter how many years, pain makes it a long road. I have forgiven, but I am not foolish enough to forget or put myself in that position again, and they have not changed so there is no reason to go back. But I’m good with where I am…because I choose it. I choose radical honesty, rugged individualism….my existence is meant to matter, and I see that now.

    You can make your healing radiate out from you to the rest, simply by taking the time to work on you and sharing that with them. You can only do what you can…remember the serenity prayer…it applies in all situations.

    Be well.

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  7. Man James, we struggle with this concept regularly. But I will try to help you heal.
    First we must understand and believe that Christ was sent for our salvation. That through Him alone, can we be absolved of our transgressions. Once you truly accept him and pray to the Father for forgiveness, through Jesus’ name, can we be saved and forgiven.

    Then your healing can begin. When your past clouds your mind, block it with the Spirit of the Lord and KNOW this agony, He does not want you to relive. Wash it from you, and live each minute as if it’s a new beginning, because it is.
    Accept yourself as human and unworthy, yet by through prayer and recognition that He abides in us, we (you) can do great things in his name.
    One of those things will be to put your family right. Teach them to pray for their salvation and to accept Jesus Christ as Lord.
    There is NO second way. We all pass to the Father through the Son.
    Jesus taught us how to pray, and if you’re not sure how, Matthew 6:9-13 is the simplest way. These are not words, but your heart pouring out to Him, Our Father. Close with, “this I pray in Jesus’ name, Amen”.

    I have done unspeakable things. Have been so selfish, as to take others’ property, and even their lives. I do not take communion on Sunday’s, as I feel I am not worthy of the blood and life of Christ. But yet He visits me as does the Spirit on a regular basis.
    Christ said when he left, that He goes to prepare a place in our Father’s house for us. I believe without a doubt that that is true.
    However, the rooms you and I get may be small and without windows. Do not despair, it awaits us. And everything is better than the hell you’re putting yourself through.
    But know this too, without that salvation, our HELL will be a thousand times, a million times, more despicable that you or I could ever imagine.
    Lastly, you will be challenged. By other faiths, by those you thought were Christians, and by those who want you to denounce His Name.
    This is called Tribulation, and we must all go through it in these days. The greater the tribulation, the greater our reward for standing in the light. Stand in the light James, and let no man, or beast, or other deity move you from it.
    As always, God Bless you and keep you.

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