Here I am… the face to the poems, the smile hidden to most… the heart finally feeling loved… I am blessed these days as I now look to being able to walk from these walls, to being able to pursue all the trials, tears and triumphs of life as I have never known as a grown man. Almost 25 years now the sands of time have trickled slowly through the glass of my existence…now for the first time I may be running out of time as I look for the skills to help ensure my success upon release… please pray for me, if just a breath of a wish that someday I am able to give back the love, support and hugs that so many have given me over the years….
How do I admit that the reality of release is somewhat scary? I am a man who has grown up within these ironhouses since the age of 15… training myself to never emote, especailly fear or pain. Now I face the most daunting challenge of my life, to go out and live it in a manner that will be successful, be peaceful… maybe even meaningful. I must remind myself that being away for so long will be for naught to many, they will recall me as the lost boy who left them, they haven’t been here as step by trodden step I have chosen to become more than just this number, more than their definitions. Chosing instead those definitions of those that love and support me still… Like Uncle Bear…:) I am pretty good at that one! Maybe their little hands will ease my fears? Just a thought….