Todd Bass

PAIN UNSPOKEN

Today my Celly found out his mom died.

My celly is doing 21 years for killing the man who raped his sister. His cousins who went with him, all turned states evidence against him in exchange for a lesser sentence.

They have all since went home.

He has served 19 years and Is nearly done. We have spoke about his conserns of his parents being alive when he made it home. i

I Simply do not have words to offer him.

All I can give him is space to grieve with and wonder what it will be like when its my turn to bid my parents fairwell. Words dont fix the hole left in your life where your mother was. I feel like any attempt would be cheap and frivoluos.

So Im left to watch helpless as he drowns in pain unspoken.

Part of me wonders how it would feel to tell on your cousin for the murder of the man who raped a woman in your family. To go home years ahead of him, then watch him mom die before he made it home.

I can only imagine what its like to be a Rat. Let alone a souless coward who sells his family down the river to save his own skin.

I have to wonder, where is the seed of triumph that is said to be found in every tradgity? Maby its not my place, maby its not my lesson.

I am grasping for anything that might help………..any ideas?

Todd Bass
DOC #861671

2 replies »

  1. As you indicated, those relatives have to live with their own conscience. In 2 years, your mate will have served his time, and will be out and able to start a new life. I hope it will go well for him.

    Loss is something we all have to deal with and it is very tough, no matter where we are at the time. I’m glad you are there for him. Just being present helps a lot in the journey of grief.

    I don’t have answers, but I know prayer helps. Prayer and trusting God despite the circumstances, friends coming alongside….those are things that helped me through my own loss.

    Like

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