The following is a poem that I wrote after talking to someone that was clearly holding back on what was causing his pain and misery. I hope that you enjoy it, and if it impact you in some way; I would enjoy hearing about the impact it has on you.
Don’t Sell Yourself Short
By Roger S. Black Jr 7-18-19
I used to be filled with envy, hatred and strife;
often I have had thoughts of ending my own life;
fed up with the seemingly endless pain I would feel;
all because the brokeness and loneliness were too real;
there were far too many issues that went unspoken;
all stemming from a past that let me alone and broken;
now I sit in prison, given 26 years with a life tail;
this is not even the beginning of my own living hell;
it goes back many years, back to my childhood;
shed so many tears, all because I felt misunderstood;
evidence of abuse as a child were left on this man;
all they seemed to find to say is nothing heals like time can;
no amount of time seemed capable of healing my pain;
looking back, I’m personally impressed with how far I’ve came;
occassionally, without a single sign a memory will creep in;
today it is not as frequent, only every now and then;
still yet, it effects me emotionally, physically, and spiritually;
but the effects will be less obvious and less frequent eventually;
I am not sure that I will ever experience total healing;
but moments of sadness and depression are shrt temporal feelings;
I long to find that special person to stand by my side;
someone to walk hand-in-hand with me, following my stride;
that person who will not cut me off and try to offer their theory;
but who will instead attentively listen as I tell my story;
what I have came to realize is sharing heals pain of every sort;
but you must be open and honest, don’t sell yourself short.
One of the worse feelings I have ever experienced is feeling alone. Sadly, that is exactly how I feel as I write this; but I know that someone will one day come into my life and eliminate that feeling. This next poem was written after I met my counselor. She has been a great help. I am very grateful for her presence in my life.
You Are Not Alone
By Roger S. Black Jr (May 2018)
far too long I have felt all alone;
filled with a sense of loneliness, I groan;
tried to reach out to my family;
sadly, most family have disowned me.
Even my closest “friends” have turned away;
Just to find someone who cares, this I pray;
this feeling of loneliness I hope to bind;
a sense of comfort, I pray to soon find.
Another prayer has been answered by god;
although the person he sent, I found odd;
not “odd” in the “weird” or “different” sense;
it’s just that I didn’t sense a false pretense;could I possibly find the comfort I sought here in prison;
maybe it is why I am here, only God knows the reason;
I walked into her office that very first day;
vowing buried deep, my issues and problems would stay;
I couldn’t possibly open up to her like I needed to;
little did I know, four words would prove that not true;
she looked into my eyes, and what she said cut to the bone;
she sincerely meant it when she said “you are not alone”.
To this very day I hold onto those words and I am remonded that I have the support and backing of far more individuals than I would ever imagine. Knowing that has helped me in several ways. IF you feel like you are alone, like no one is ever willing to hear you out… I am here. I wnat you to know that you do not have to feel alone. I am willing to be that listening ear that you feel like you have been missing. Also, if you have a word of encouragement for someone, don’t hold back. Share that word of encouragement, you never know how many people you may impact with a single word such as: “hello”, “good day”, or (a sincere), or even a simple smile. I write quotes or some inspirational message on a whiteboard every night. The past two nights I haven’t done so because I have had a terrible headache. Five guys have said something about me not putting anything up on the board. Five guys that I didn’t expect to read the board. So, you never know who you may impact with a word of inspiration.
Roger Black #729370
Po Box 740
London, Ohio 43140
If there is anything that you would like to relay to me, email is available through Jpay.com. I do not know what all is involved with setting up an account.