Christopher Permenter

WHO AM I? by Christopher Permenter

I am stronger than yesterday’s yesterday and today’s tomorrow forget the sorrow. I am propelled toward my future like the thrusters of Apollo.

I am a changed individual stained by the residual affects of my past life. Pushing through that strife and creating in me a new life.

I am determined to be successful no matter how stressful it will be. I will fulfill my destiny. Just wait and see.

I am driven and forgiven by the one that was riven so I can start living the life I was given.

I am a new creation living in this nation of heartache and deceit.

I am unique. I stand on my own two feet. And I will NEVER accept defeat.

WHO AM I? I AM ME!

Hello world, here I am. Contrary to the name that is found as the address for this blog, my name is Leambra Renee Permenter. I am a transgender female inmate here at Stafford Creek Correction Center in Washington state. I am completely new to this whole blogger world (and anything social media), but I will give this my best effort. I am not really sure what kinds of things go in a blog so I guess poetry is a good place to start. The poem I started this blog with was written about a year ago in response to a question I had to answer for a program I was attending called Redemption. The question was “who am I?” and it prompted us to be more personal and in depth. The poem is describing how I have chosen to live life to the fullest no matter what my past is. I know I didn’t have the greatest childhood, but I also know it could have been worse. I wanted people to see that all the sorrows and past choices I’ve made doesn’t define who I am. And yours doesn’t define you either. Some say people never change, but I am living proof that we do. I have definitely made choices I am not proud of at all, however, I would not have grown into the person I am today had I not made them. Over the past 8 years I have been incarcerated I have become a new person… in EVERY sense. I have finally come to terms with a part of me I have kept in a 16 foot thick vault my whole life. I had been petrified of people rejecting me for being more different than what I already was. So until recently, I kept Renee locked away and lived life as Chris “the super masculine manly man.” I figured if I acted like a man and did manly things then no one would be the wiser. Oh how wrong I was. No matter how much effort I put into being a man, the majority of people who knew me said they had a feeling about my gender dysphoria and were not surprised when I came out as trans. So becoming a certified welder in 2 states and establishing a career in the iron working industry before the age of 20 just to prove I was “a manly man” was completely pointless because almost everybody knew. OK not completely pointless, I did obtain a great work ethic and a possible career path… and don’t think a female can’t do metal work. Look at the female who works at Welderup Garage in Las Vegas… Anyway… I guess all the time spent at my mothers heels while she was doing her cosmetologist thing didn’t really set a good platform for masculinity. Now I am free from the chains I have placed on myself, and I can pursue the life I truly wish to have. Hopefully it is one which my family can accept because I CANNOT go back into that dark , depressing, lonely vault again. This is who I am and have always been. Those who can’t accept me for me… well they’re the ones who are missing out.
Well this is where I will end this entry. If there is anyone who wishes to contact me, you can do so by going to Jpay.com and getting on my contact list. My DOC information is Christopher Permenter DOC #337691. I will do my best to respond A.S.A.P. If possible please attach a reply stamp. Until next time. Stay positive and remember to love.

Christopher Permenter
DOC #337691

Categories: Christopher Permenter

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