Present or absent good or bad, the father/son relationship is significant in shaping all of us. None of us was raised by a perfect father and this has left all of us wounded to one degree or another. Grandchildren are the crown of old men, and the glory of son is their father(proverbs 17:6) Every father gets admiration from his son the minute he comes into the world. Today in the United States 33% of children grow up apart from their biological fathers. Modern research has demonstrated the importance of father: Statistically, children growing up in father-absent homes are more likely to: Die in infancy, live in poverty, end up in prison, use drugs, be abused drop out of school, be overweight. Children with involved fathers are more likely to have: better grades, better verbal skills, more confidence, better physical health.
Recent research indicates that fathers uniquely add value to their children. Definitions and remembering dad:
Wound: Any unresolved issue where a lack of closure adversely impacts and shapes the direction and dynamics of a man’s life now.
Father Wound: Its “an ongoing emotional, social, or spiritual deficit that’s caused by the lack of a healthy relationship with dad and now must be overcome by other means”. It was caused when there was a lack of connection, or companionship or substantive direction from dad. Its about how your dad related to you. lll. Three common responses to the father wound.
Anger and pain: The bible shows a connection between a man’s anger and his dad. Father, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in discipline and instruction of the Lord(Ephesians 6:4)
Father, do not provoke your children ,or they may lose heart.(Colossians 3:21). Without a dad there’s a vacuum in a son’s life and part of what fill that vacuum is rage. The bottle up of a feelings.
To pretend like you’re not affected. you can never completely bottle it up, it’ll express itself somehow. According to John Sowers in the fatherless Generation, Fatherlessness creates an appetite in the soul that demands fulfillment. Unhealthy ways this hunger can find it’s way to the surface: Addictions or obsessions, drugs, pornography and excessive alcohol, performance.
An inner sense of lostness or incompleteness.
Incompleteness can be relational we never felt accepted of validated by dad. Incompleteness can be informational dad didn’t teach us to shave or balance a checking account or how to pursue a woman, etc.
Overcoming the effects of the father wound. The absence of a great father is not insurmountable. With Christ’s help we can overcome any obstacle. What ever son needs from a dad.
Time together, life skills. Direction with solid answers to the why questions of life.
Deep life convictions.
You will leave in your son what you have lived out in your home.
Dad’s heart, I love you, I’m proud of you. I’m affirming you. etc.
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-Ganesh Bharrat is currently serving a 75-year sentence for murder and manslaughter. He can be reached by phone at 203-633-7118, or by mail at:
Ganesh Bharrat #336147
C.C.I.
900 Highland Ave.
Cheshire, CT 06410
Learn more about him at https://penpals.buzz/inmate/ganesh-bharrat
