The year was 2000. I was 10 years into the mess I had created, 7 years into fighting a death sentence I asked for (hold that thought, a future blog will cover this). I was talking with my Mother (who passed in October, 2022), known to us as Mama, and she asked me, “Robert, what do you do?” Mama was French, born and raised in France, only coming to America the first time in 1955, and even 45 years later her thick French accent was pronounced. Though I believed I knew what Mama meant when asking this question, I acted as if I couldn’t understand her accent! I said, ” Pardon me?”. Mama said, “You know, what do you do all the time?”. I knew where she was going, I just didn’t want to be there so I said, ” Mama, I play basketball, softball and handball, and I work.”. Mama said, “No, no, what do you do?!?”. The gig was up. I didn’t have an answer because I wasn’t doing a damn thing, and though Mama didn’t say it, she also knew it.
The year was 2000. This is when I made a conscious decision to work towards progress, despite the fact I was on death row fighting for my very life. I’d never done anything to make Mama, or anyone, for that matter, proud of me, instead I brought shame, embarrassment and guilt to those I claimed to love, so it was high time I got busy making progress towards a purpose, even in prison.
I enrolled in all of the prison programs I could, completing program after program, soaking up any and all knowledge to help me do and be better. Bear in mind, I did so under dangerous conditions, even outright threats, because at this time it wasn’t popular to be a death row inmate and be working towards change. I did it anyway! Why? Because, while I wanted to make Mama proud of me, and show her I was doing something good, it was also about being the best version of myself, even in circumstances I knew to be desperate. Sometimes, it’s not about proving everyone wrong, it’s more about proving yourself right. And, so I did.
The year was 2016, Mother’s Day. I had accumulated an impressive collection of certificates of completion for a vast array of programs, something I was proud of, and in doing so I’d proven to myself that with a little hard work, conviction and determination I had gotten back to the Robert I was designed to be. Though I had shared bits and pieces of my growth with Mama, it was for Mother’s Day 2016 that I copied all of my certificates and sent them to Mama, along with a card that said, in short, “This is what I do!”. I didn’t need to ask Mama if she was proud of me for doing the right thing, I knew she was, I didn’t need verbal confirmation for doing what I should’ve been doing all along. I should tell you, though, that Mama was effusive in her praise, the sort of positive affirmation that only cemented the fact that my progress gave me limitless purpose, even in prison.
A quote I love says:
“Three things make people want to change. One is that they hurt sufficiently. They have beat their heads against the same wall, so long, that they decide they have had enough. Another thing that makes people want to change is a slow type of despair called ennui, or boredom. A third thing that makes people want to change is the sudden discovery that they can.” (Thomas Harris)
Believe it when I say it, if I can do it, you CAN do it.
Remember, always remember, that it’s not about who is right, it’s about what is right.
Contact Info:
Robert Shafer #990101
Write to him via email:
https://www.securustech.net
Step 1: Click the link above
Step 2: Create a Securus account (if you don't already have one)
Step 3: Go to "Contacts" ---> "Add Contact"
Step 4: Search for Robert Shafer in the state of Missouri. The facility on Securus is listed as Missouri Department of Corrections.
You may also contact Robert, see more pictures, and learn more of his story at https://wireofhope.com/prison-penpal-robert-shafer
