It is difficult to say I am an occvltist or I am a spiritual individual when I have such basic earthly desires. I read manuscripts of occvlt and they shun the primitive desires which to me are apart of the occvlt experience. I had to get life in prison to see the world and appreciate life, because before I was blind and I couldn’t feel much of anything. Maybe these lofty thinkers from the mid 1800s are correct and in error simultaneously?

I believe that balance is the key, we need to feed the beast of our lower self and feed the god of our higher self equally to find our true consistent potential self. I am aware that I am awareness and that this physical body is only temporary, and soon it will expire. Although the physical body is the doorway for many realizations of the spiritual existence. The mind is the medium to the higher self, if we shun the earthly desires the mind experiences less, you see where I’m going with this?

If we live in restrictions in fear of morality or letting morality come first before making a decision then it’s no longer a true decision. I say no longer true because I’m only making this decision based of the morality that society deems worthy of this time. It’s not really ”me” it’s me under the influence of social pressures. So there’s very little altruistic value in ”doing the right thing”. I feel it is more true to do the thing I haven’t done, or to do the thing that I actually want to do because I have my own reason. Everything is an individual case by case situation that has multiple perspectives that we all should understand and never to be too hasty to cast judgement because you were not present. Malkuth the physical plane does not live in vane, it is here for our macrocosmic and microcosmic development beyond every Black Sun.

Sometimes I feel that this is the most mundane predictable type of life and I just want to get out already. Though I know if I want to get out of a situation I must dive through it all confronting every battle on the way to make it out.
I see the light at the end, and it inspires me with ancient fire
when I reach the flames I will see that it was me all along and this end is the true beginning.

Angelo Vasquez
DOC #G-07505