They say I walked this shit down.. In reality I guess I did. Eleven years! In two thousand twelve, two thousand twenty three looked forever away, even five years ago it looked far away.
Coming this December I’ll be under a thousand days, under thirty six months and in the two year territory.
Some one said “Man you walked that time down man that’s a blessing.” I could only think of someone doing ten years in college which would be equivalent to a masters degree, or close to a P.H.D. A true blessing something earned for the time spent in an academic institution.
I have high hopes and dreams. I even enrolled in college for a four year bachelor’s degree program. I finished a semester. Covid happened, then a federal loan that’s in default stopped my progress. The college that has my transcripts are with holding them for a twenty year old debt. (I have to fight for my transcripts in order to continue schooling.)
I did four years in a level three and 8 months in a level three B , all in the roughest prison in Ohio, Lebanon Corrections.
Four years in a college would equal a Bachelor’s degree. All of this crossed my mind. When this young man looked at me as if I was some type of hero, and that I was so blessed because I “Walked down this time.”
In convict words or laymans terms “Walked this time down” Means I did the time and did not let it do me. I still have my mind, my teeth, my youthful appearance and a sharp focus.
I did not let the time dull my wits.
Good, but what type of certificate, diploma, degree, do I get for “Walking this time down”? (Accomplishing an allotted time in a penal system?) What do I get in return?
They say you’re paying a debt to society. Not so!
Once you are out you are so far behind and denied so much it seems you are in debt for a crime for the rest of your life though you’ve supposedly did your time for the alleged crime. (In my case) Anyone who has paid something should be free of debt.
My thoughts kind of teeter tottered there for a few seconds between the words he chose. “Walked that time down”
Its amazing how much can run through your mind between words, and questions in such a short time. I could only respond to the young mans gleeful awe of me…
So instead of giving him my introspective thought I said. “Yea I got something out of the time. It was a hell of a walk down. I’m in the door of a major publishing company. I’ll be in 10,000 stores around the world, next year. Including, Amazon and Barnes and Nobles, as well as Ebooks and kendals. I have 12 complete books and 50-70 scrap books”
(Scrap books are books that have a start, but are not completed. They range from 3 chapters to many chapters. You can add to these chapters at any time) I told him. “If I sold one book in ten thousand stores for simply ten dollars thats a hundred thousand dollars. Who can’t sell one book? I’m looking at selling at least one hundred books per store at whatever the price. Now were talking millions of dollars and sales.”
Suddenly I saw the blessing. In a weird way this time worked as a blessing for me. A blessing, a blessing in desguise.
I also saw that I earned a degree. I have a greater degree of understanding, about myself, and people thanI did before.
In the beginning of this time I was bitter, mad at the world and this judicial system. I had every right to be when the medical record says no acute findings, no abnormalities, and no broken skin, not a scratch, but the Judge says you savagely beat a person for four hours! Take these 11 Years! with no Tylenol! Talk about a crooked system…. It took me close to seven years to get the Judges gavel out of my ass. In that meanwhile I had to work with the misery that type of sentence causes.The misunderstandings with family, friends, my own children. You become no good to almost every one. No one believes you, your word is discredited, you’re skum, a prisoner, a nobody, a degenerate, delinquent. Not many men or women can stand, let alone walk this type of time down.
But as my brother often reminds me. “We were built for this Maje , we lived at 1111 so n so street, we endured such and such and such and such. It was all preparing us for Covid-19 and all that we are going through now.”
He’s died once and has had two Massive heart attacks, but he’s still alive and the doctors call him a walking miracle.
I listened to his hard core evidence, very insightful words and tough reasoning. This is what brothers are for, times of adversity I couldn’t of asked for a better brother, or sister even if I had the mind to do so. They always know what to say and do at any given time.
Both siblings younger than I, but they have invaluable things to add to my life. and have overcome many trials. My family, Niece, and Aunties included as well as a few cousins. Have all helped me “Walk this time down” and gave me encouragement along the way.
I also have a close lady friend that I can call and she answers all of the time, another one that sends money whenever she thinks of me. I didn’t do this time alone. They did it with me and are still doing it with me.
What did I gain from this time? A cerificate? A P.H.D? No, but an appreciation for those who love me no matter the status of my life, rather I have money, or fame, something, or nothing, they loved me because they have love, something I stopped believing in long ago, something I did not completely understand.
I now know love involves sacrifice. Everyone I mentioned has sacrificed a part of their lives to show me that they care. I did not ask them for the sacrifice they did it with out question. What more can you ask for? When you ask what did you get for your time? I’ve found true love.
Mansfield, Ohio 44901
Categories: Major McCormick
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