To undertstand the essence of ones parent we as children rarely go on a treasure hunt,to seek what’s hidden in the depths of there soul.
We as children don’t believe at times there is a back drop to our parents story. That at one time they were once little boys/girls. Childhood inflicting many sagas for them some favorable and some not so favorable.Hurt, pain and trauma there is no shelter at home order. That can make anyone exempt. I know today it didn’t pass my parents either.
I believe parents carry these chilhood hurts, pain and overwhelming trauma into adulthood. I believe at times those inflictions are masked with the seeking of love in another. To soothe and falsely nurture those pains.Some reach for drugs/alcohol to numb and avoid the trauma. Addiction comes and consumes a ones life. Addiction can come in many forms. So to be prejudice against any is being a hypocrit.
While there’s those who seek therapeutic therapy to work through there trauma. Then there is some who know there is “A power greater than themselves, that can restore them back to sanity”. To that higher power they seek solace, guidance, comfort and love.
Whatever is on ones secret map,has developed them into the man/woman they were or are today.
I learned the easiest thing to give away other than an excuse is blame. Why?
NO one has to accountable let alone responsible. It’s simply easy to give away. Just raise your hand and point your finger. Or simply open your mouth and cast away responsibility. Everyone will everyone will divert there attention in that direction. Even You (your thinking about right now)
Look at the state of our world today. The Commander in Chief. Blames, Congress (Republican/Democratic) Blames,Police Officers, Blames, In Divorces theres what Blame.
Rarely does someone ever take accountability/responsibility. Only cast blame of whose at fault.
Adult children we continously blame our parents or somebody for the development of who we are today. Yes are upbringing does play a role in character/development. There comes a time when we are in charge of taking accountability/responsbility for changing the course. Our life are responsibility. It’s solely upon us which can be extremely hard. Having to sit face to face with yourself internally is scary.
Especially when your being honest transparent about who you are and the acts and actions you have committed against others and yourself.
No longer blaming anyone takes courage. It’s making a concience decision to take ownership,over your life. It is saying I am not a victim am a survior.
It is surrendering the hold of resentment,bitterness,anger that held you internally hostage. Becuase if we forgived we would have to heal. If we forgived we would have to feel. If we forgive we would no longer get to hold our parents\caretakers responsible. When we don’t,we don,t allow healing in.
Our parents did the best they could with the circumstaces they had. As we have with the circumstances presented to us.It does not make it wrong nor right,it’s called life.
As adult children we hold our parents in judgement. There will come a time when the judger will sit in the seat of judgement. Knowing how judgemental and unforgiven you and the world can be, for a mistake. How judgemental people are of a post, the world is in judgement over a virus,and intervention. In judgement over who life is more important. In judgement on what is correct way of upbringing some else’s kids. Judgemental especially or ones actions. I believe every person has passed judgements or had it cast upon them..
I believe every human being has had a moment in there life where there some extra grace and mercy extended to them.
Empathy,Compassion and Understanding.
Everyone can understand it because it’s universal and humanity is universal. Somewhere we all just needed was a chance, someone gave it to us. Either we was in the right place at the right time. Whatever the case, it was extended time and time again. Someone had the humanity within to see we needed extra grace. And extended the hand to us.
In self inventory of ourselves,where can we extend extra grace and compassion towards other’s.
“Where can we seek to find understanding rather than blame”. (Our strength lies in knowing when to silence our pain and listen to someone else’s). When we exercise our strength, empathy begins.
Forgiveness can come from the shadows of the background and into the light. Which allows healing a chance to promote love ,peace, compassion and empathy. There’s a vaccination that we can take.This vaccination is called
Aakifah Smith W#45481
16756 Chino Corona Rd
Corona CA 92880