As I lay here, I can only help but think bout all the things I been thru since bein in here. The heart breaks, disappointments, discouragements, let downs, judgements, lack of contact with the outside world. I have some very good friends in my life, but I’m still stuck with really tryna find someone I can really get in touch with in case somethin happens to me in here, or jus to talk to too decrease my stress of always feelin alone.
I started writin my blogs in hopes that people would see my struggles, my feelins, etc and hopefully reach out to me. But it seems that I blog jus to blog with no real outcome ( nobody carin to reach out and build contact). Its like so many people on the outside don’t think bout us as people any more or the struggles we have to face in here alone when we really don’t have someone there for us like we need. I’m a prisoner, but I’m still a human bein too, with feelins.
Every day, I go out to check my jpay account, to see if its anybody new willin to get to know me, but…I only see discouragement in all that I do cuz none of it has gotten anybodies attention to reach out. All of my efforts seem pointless, destroyin my hope when I see nothin I seek.
I get ratings on my blogs from people and I’ve gotten one comment so far, but where is the actual contact with the outside world? I’m lookin to build good friendships, or jus anybody willin to help me take my mind off all the stress and self harmin myself, but its like friendships ain’t lookin for me. It makes me feel like givin up.
I’ve provided ways for people to get in contact with me, but I believe its judgement that stands in the way, nobody givin me a chance to show them who I really am besides what the courts labeled me as. I feel like jus takin my own life at times, cuz the pain won’t go away.
If anybody has a change in heart, you can contact me by settin up a jpay.com account and providin my info at “add inmate” to email me: James Ward a517461 at Ohio Department of Rehabilitation and Correction. Or set up a free account with ConnectNetwork.com and provide the same info to be able to send my phone tablet a “request call” to talk on the phone.