When I first came to prison, I was angry and upset with the judicial system. I felt like I didn’t have a fair trial. I felt I should have gotten less time. I felt like it was everybody else’s fault. It was easier just to blame them, because I felt guilty about the lives I had harmed. My crime didn’t just effect one person, it effected quite a few directly and society as well.
Over the years, I started to realize that it’s my fault alone that I am in this position. While I continued to work my way through the appeals and habeas corpus process, I started realizing that I needed to ask God for forgiveness, if I ever wanted to find peace. I went to church growing up, but I wasn’t a devoted Christian. In prison, I started going to church occasionally.. Eventually, I got baptized again, but it didn’t happen overnight. Since then I have become more devoted to leading a good Christian life. I now regularly attend church services and spend part of every day reading my Bible and doing Bible studies all in an effort to become the best person and Christian I can be. Even though I know in my heart that God has forgiven me I am still bothered by and truly remorseful for taking another man’s life.
In the last 13 years, I have voluntarily completed many programs including Anger Management and Thinking for A Change which focus on the offender, but the most impactful one I have ever taken was Victim’s Impact. Victim’s Impact is a 13 week program which helps offenders to better understand how victims are effected by crime. So often offenders directly see the impact on their own family, but they don’t see the long term effects on their victims and families. I wish so much that I could reach out directly and tell Keith’s family how sorry I truly am, but that’s not really allowed. So I would like to use this forum to publicly apologize to Keith’s family and anyone effected by his death.
To Keith’s family:
I know that saying I’m sorry is never enough and may just sound like words to you, but I say them with sincerity. Regardless of the circumstances, my actions were wrong. “I am so sorry for my actions and your loss. I truly wish I could take it all back.”
Thank you for this opportunity to be heard.