I used to be alright but now I’m not and its all miss freckles fault
I was on a sunlit road but now its dark , where will it lead and what will result ,
its miss freckles fault , miss freckles fault
what she’s plotting next , is left to be seen , it can’t be any thing good because miss freckles is so mean , anyone who’s upset her will tell you that
she swerves to the left she swervs to the right just to run over a cat
hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle , miss freckles punched the cow as it jumped over the moon
here comes freckles , run , run little innocent alley cat , dive in the dumpster hide where ever you can , oh , its too late , the streets he will never again roam
this little kitty never made it home , oh what did you do miss freckles?
I was walking around with my hydrogen balloon , yes hydrogen because I respect the planet’s helium shortage even though its the second most abundant element in the universe , anyway , she snuck up in front of me all calm , she looked at me and threw a flaming match , it blew up in my face like a bomb , miss freckles you are so mean , the likes of such the world has never seen
I use to think your freckles like stars upon the dusk sky
now when I look up , I cry out asking , why , why , why?
I see them sprinkled about I use to adore them from afar
twinkle , twinkle little freckles , now I wonder who you are
but now I see the real spirit that lurks beneath t’was not what it seems
oh miss freckles why are you so mean
its night and I advise you to lock your windows and doors , put your children away tuck them snug in bed , for god’s sake bring in you’re cats and to be safe your dogs , turning water into helium, who needs wine , let’s make children’s birthdays safe again , helter skelter don’t pop my balloon miss freckes
everything has gone awry , fresh water now is contaminated with salt , yes , its miss freckles fault ,
oh , miss freckles your smile used to be so sweet but now its scary and mean , its more sinister than Trump’s fascist regime , will , you ever go back to being nice , will things ever be the same
will children ever be able to fly kites without the fear of miss freckles shooting them down , because she’s so mean , run , run , little kiddies , run with them kites in your hands , fly them so high she can’t see them , because if miss freckles finds out your having fun – shhh try to be act subtle , she’ll come hunt you down with her wrath and burst your bubble , just hope its not filled with hydrogen like mine , fine swine , maybe soap bubbles would be better , harmless , but no fun , see miss freckles what you have done , you tried to take my kite and balloons , you’ll have to pry them from my dead cold hands , its freckles fault , freckles fault ! , she comes round the corner smile on her face, I pick a handful of purple flowers , it is the midnight ghastly hour , I stand still confused , oh what do I see ,freckles is walking toward me , I put my head down and say a final prayer , oh god how will I fair, as I looked into those freckled eyes , I reach out and offer her the purple flowers and she just rolls her eyes with a sassy sigh , and suddenly out of the blue , she offers a truce , oh miss freckles ,I’m so sorry , I never met to upset you
I saw that there is a food that can ward off dementia, it was coming up on the news , I figured it wouldn’t be butterscotch pudding of course , but I hoped it wouldn’t be something so terrible. But of course it turned out to be broccoli , as Newman put it on Seinfeld , a vile weed … so if you want to grow into old age lucid with your senses in tact , you have to eat this disgusting vile weed. I wonder just what kind of sick sense of humor god has sometimes. Of all the things he could put some wonder elixir in that helps prevent one of the worst brain diseases , chocolate , beef , cheese , pork , pizza , god puts it in broccoli. Why would a almighty being make the elements capable of being arranged in such sexy ways as to create bacon and chocolate and mt dew and make them all wreck havoc on the body but place all the vitamins in terrible tasting plants that cannot be made into butterscotch or cheese. What can you make with broccoli ? broccoli…
I’m glad to see our civilizations’ problems and concerns have changed in the last couple of years. I guess this is a true sign we have matured into a fully modern technological society. Humans used to have to worry about dying of exposure while travelling afar , being killed by predators like lions , tigers and bears. If you lived in certain regions you had to worry about insects and disease. Humans lives were in constant peril. And now , when I see the news the concerns of our societies have morphed into differentiated problems like ” trampoline park danger ” so this is a sign times have definitely changed. I guess this is the prize of becoming the apex predator. we can mostly leave our homes for shopping and work without the fear of being dragged into the woods by a grizzly or becoming lost in the wilderness and dying from dehydration , just spranging our ankle in a trampoline accident. These things still happen , but it is because we willingly place ourselves in that position if we choose to hike or explore. But if you so choose to stay in the relative safety of town or the city , you just have to be careful about how you jump up and down on a trampoline… or worry about the apex predators… other humans.
Categories: Travis Smith