There was 3 of us, and the cops were looking.
Sirens were loud, and they were close. Chaos was all around us.
Myself and Lil Bear needed to get moving, I didn’t want to leave my Twin brother, but it had be done.
We left Jacob and I can still remember giving my Twin brother a hug and feeling him shaking, and the fear that was not just on his face but felt through his body.
His body was stiff and rigid, his voice was shaky and scared.
So much shame and guilt plague me to this day.
If I didn’t give the gun to my brother would we still be here in Prison?
I think the reality is if it wasn’t this Crime it would have another one, we were on a road destined for failure.
I didn’t force Jacob to shoot the gun, he made the choice to do it.
The blame cannot solely be placed upon my shoulders, yet 15 years later i sit with the weight of those actions upon me.
I feel it on my back holding me down, slowly drowning me.
With one look in the mirror I see the years that this hardship has left me in.
There is a mask there.
A simple mask.
One hidden behind a smile, blue eyes and neatly groomed blonde hair.
The look of innocence, looks that can easily be mistaken for your Son, your brother, the local mailman, a real estate agent, hell even a County Sheriff but the truth is I’m none of those things.
I am nothing..
Deprived of my Humanity..
Shackled and chained..
I still try to hold my head high, and be strong in the midst of the oppression that I’ve subjected my mind and body too.
Fortunately my Family and Loved One’s are my Northern star, and my ties to them and my community bind me to this Self-Transformation from Criminal to a Productive and honest man.
Washington Correction Center
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Categories: Steven Nall