today I realized that I’m alone and I’m scared of never finding my special someone. when I got locked up I was in a serious relationship with my sons mother.after the back and fourth of hurt feelings of her feeling abandoned and me feeling she’s just not the woman I thought she was.we decided to be friends and coparent our son.I told her I appreciate her and I’m thankful for her stepping up and doing a good job raising our son.I also admitted my faults and told her that I’ve had a lot of time for self reflection and me holding on to our past wouldn’t be positive for her,me, or my sons future so live life to the fullest with no regrets.in releasing my pint up emotions I realized that I want to have someone In my life who’s in love with the person I am and the person I’m becoming. life is about growth and change and having someone who wants to experience the ups and downs knowing that its all worth it.I want to meet a woman whose character shines so bright that my heart melts from its rays.as a young man walking through these gates I was so superficial that I couldn’t see past worldly things. now I know that the heart, soul,and mind of a person matters most.I’m convinced that I’ll find the woman I’m looking for or she’ll find me.up until that day I’m content being a man who finds strength in knowing that I’m continuing to grow into a strong reliable,respectful man who will one day find his queen.
then there’s the part of me who feels that I’ll never find happiness because there is no one willing to give you a chance because of the amount of time I’m doing. I find myself just hoping that a good woman gives me the chance to fall in love and vice versa.I’m halfway through a twenty one year term and that’s scary for a lot of people and I understand.right now I’m at Lebanon correctional institution trying to figure out my next move.