The Letter Part #1, by Ramad Sereal

The world on this side the wall is very complicated. Everyone sees life through different eyes “literally”, to me principal is more important than passion even if in the end you lose. My strength come from my pain. If I was to describe myself with three words I would be consious, unpredictable, and loyal. Everyone expects the worst of me. I’ve learn that I don’t have the power to decide my fate, it doesn’t matter what choices people usually make. I reached a point in my life where my understanding is great , Im aware that peole will not always live up to my expectations of them because of the wall of mistrust they build around themselves from the past pain. Sometimes I lay awake mind drifting, thinking about time and fucked up experiences that has everyone caustious on loving or allowing themselves to be loved. Broken promises help build that wall i still have my morals and principals. My choices are to always be loayl to those who are loyal to me. In marraige people vow to love for better or worse. I believe that it’s better that things get worse, because in troubled times you find out who loves you or willing to leave you. People speak about unconditional love, but in reality most people love under their own condition. A wise man once told me ,If your mind is right, your world is right. being in jail didn’t get my mind right the desire to be there for my children placed me on the right path. I understand threre’s some battles I just can’t win. I know that God is the only one who can help me in certain situations. I don’t want to gain the world and lose my soul. Sometimes people don’t realize what or how much they mean to someone. That’s because they take so much for granted. Sometimes your head and your heart my not see eye to eye. Think about what your heart needs and get you head into place and make it happen. If one masters there mind only than their able to master their surroundings I personally don’t believe that theres enough time for one to master his or her mind. Time is an illusion, its one of the devils greatest keys to deceiving us. He loves for us to think that we have all the time in the world when reality we don’t. Knowledge doesn’t prolong death. Life is nothing but a vapor. One day you’re here the next day your gone.
Although I’m hanging on by a thread don’t shed a tear for me because I’m still hanging. Pain has bcome second nature to me . It reminds me that i’m still living but it gives me awareness that death is always waiting. i won’t lie, I was once afraid to die. But thats because i wasn’t aware of what lies on the other side. Sorrow is better than laughter it may sadden your face but it sharpens yur understanding. Someone who is always thinking about happines is a fool. A wise person thinks about death, you may not agree, but by you not agreeing does that change the faith that lies ahead. Life is a sad song but we all love dancing to it’s music, it doesn’t matter, rich or poor. Bad things will never stop happening. It’s entirely up to you how you react to things once the have happened. In the animal kingdom the weak is always the first to die. Question??? Why is it that the runt is usually the one one to survive?? it’s simple just because your the runt it doesn’t make you the weakest. The desiere to live strenghtens him. People never know thier weakness until faced with a difficult obstacle, the out come of that challange determines wh you are. the world is a big body of water you either swim or drown. People say knowledge is the power you have and chanel it towards sucess. You got to know that your pass doesn’t define you. I don’t live off what if’s. I accept life for what it is and not what I want it to be. Because in the in what will be, will be and there’s nothing we can do about it. My thoughts are heavier than I can ever imagine. My days are lonely and my nights are sad being surrounded by lonelyness forced me to become my own bestfriend but sometime it’s even hard to trust me. Who am I claim to be greater than another, when just as you Im human too..
To me it’s like the more pain I endure the more stronger I become but why am I afaird of who I’ve become I believe it’s because change is always scary unless your able to adept to the change. No matter how good you’re doing theres always something better than your current state. I have all the leverage I need and believe all things are possible the Bible says happy are thoes who obey the Lord’s commad’s. Alot of days i feel as if I didn’t have God, I would be alne, i want God to strengthen me mentally, emontionally, physically and most of all spiritually. One thing about truth, wisdom, knowledge and good sense. God said their worth paying for but to valuable for you to sell. People really seem like cartoon charaters to me when they walk through. The best thing I learn from people now a days is what not to do, If you answer a silly question you’re just as silly as the person who asked it. I pray that God teach me to serve him with my whole heart. I know that he’s the only one able to shine light on my dark thoughts. help me that my thoughts don’t become my habits. I know now that life is bigger than me. You see charm is deceptive, beauty disappears, have you ever asked yourself who’s really on your side?? who really cares?? If by chance you live until your gray who’s going to be there??
Have you ever looked into the mirror beyond reflection. Your reflectin is an image that closesn’t tell you who you are. The eyes are the mirror to your soul, a window to your deepest thoughts. Look tinto your eyes what do you see?? There’s one or two things something evil or something dgood, while you are looking in that mirror know that life is fading away in the distance yesterday was a vapor and tomorrow is not promised, no one knows the future,

To Be Continued…….

Ramad Sereal
DOC #562093