Since my earliest state of awareness I knew I was different;
So confused at such a young age I just didn’t know how to express it.
Torn between to tell or not to tell. Criticism and judgement shadows such an issue;
Maybe its best to take my own life. That would be better than facing the truth!
“I’m a little girl trapped inside this foreign body”, I would practice telling my mother in a mirror;
Then I would envision her saying, “Its okay my darling son.” while holding me like there’s no one dearer.
Then we would break the news to my father who would have absolutely no understanding;
I would picture him calling me derogatory names, disowning me, possibly even a physical bashing.
That’s not even the half of it. I still have to face a judgemental society;
It seems so much safer in the closet wondering why God has forsaken me.
What would you advise? You should be able to assist me on what to do;
Afterall, YOU play a vital role in my life. Who am I? I’m a byproduct of you!
They came and took him away like he was some common criminal;
He worked, paid taxes, law abiding and he didn’t ask for this kind of trouble.
They just tore our family apart I went on food stamps just to make ends meet;
I earn just enough money to keep a roof over our heads. Each night I cry myself to sleep.
“Why?” I ask God. Knowing no answers are forthcoming.
Still I must keep the faith and continue to fight for my husbands homecoming.
I’ve marched, attended rallies and supported others throughout this ordeal;
Stressors are compounded when my husband calls relaying stories that are unreal.
It doesn’t help each time I turn on the news there’s a bombing or some other horrible terrorist act:
I know my family and I are immigrants, but we don’t condone any of that.
Its so hard being stereotyped or just frowned upon no matter what it is I do;
People staring so intently, but blind to the true facts of Who I am? I’m a byproduct of you!
I met a guy who introduced me to this girl;
It was love from day one she became my world.
Don’t know what it was about her that constantly had her invading my thoughts
Call me lesbian. No pun intended, but each time she got me off.
I’ve never felt this way about anything or anybody, especially so quickly;
I needed more and more of her each day and didn’t care what anyone thought of me.
To keep up with her I moved directly into her neighborhood;
From there on We partied day and night. Life was so good…..
At least until she started taking all of my money,
I had to step my hustle up even if it meant sleeping with men occasionally.
Before long I had six kids by six different men who fathered them;
In the streets I was known for my thickness now everyone just calls me, Slim.
My girl and I are still going strong. In fact, it’s been years, I can’t seem to get rid of her;
I guess by now you’ve figured out that this heroin is a bad M.F.er!!!!
I almost died 3 times, tested positive for Hep C, most of y’all don’t have the slightest clue;
The next time you look at someone like me and wonder Who I am. Think long and hard, because I’m a byproduct of you!
Everybody’s life is molded and shaped by society as a whole. We aren’t born certain ways. We’re created this way from the moment of conception. We don’t get to request who our parents are or what environment and part of the world we’d like to grow up in. And sometimes we make bad choices that sends our life in a whirlwind spin. Doesn’t mean we’re a bad person. Inspiration, motivation, hope and love can mean the difference between good intentions or bad intentions, someone struggling in life or striving in life, happiness or sadness, or simply living or dying. With the exception of God, Society as a whole is our true mothers and fathers. If you think my life won’t be influenced by what society shows me then you’re sadly mistaken. Again, inspiration, motivation, hope and love are the DNA building blocks that creates a healthy and positive society. The consensus states its more than 7 billion people on the planet. I challenge everyone of you to an act of kindness everyday for at least a month. (#actsofkindnesschallenge) I guarantee the results will shock you and the world will most certainly change for the better. Not only will you feel good about yourself, but someone else will feel good about themselves too. After all, everything you do and say in life will somehow influence Who I am. The definition of me being a byproduct of you!
Categories: Melvin Robertson