I like to think there were thousands of phone calls and emails to prison officials and to representatives and to other useless bureaucrats, but even if there were only dozens, they seem to have done the trick. Things are now happening.
Whoever you five lunatics out there with untraceable WalMart phones really are, thank you.
So, with members of the House of Representatives inquiring into this ideologically-driven mail-theft, and with the Ohio Secretary of State weighing in, and with the Ohio Attorney General attempting to gather facts for the multiple civil actions currently pending in multiple Ohio courts against the Ohio Secretary of State and Warren Corruptional on behalf of the Army of the 12 Monkeys, and, conceivably, with the King of Denmark poised to make a blistering statement on the floor of the United Nations in defense of my right to receive mail (okay, I made up the part about the King of Denmark), Warren Corruptional’s Institutional Inspector “Notorious” Cynthia Hill informed me in writing of the latest developments from the fuckweasel high command. In a memo from 23 January 2018, here is what she wrote:

“I have spoken with Chief Inspector Lee regarding your conversation in my office regarding your mail withholdings. He agreed to inspect the mail along with Legal Services (Ryan Dolan). I have spoken with the mailroom staff who are compiling the mail, itemizing it to be forwarded to Office Support Center. A copy of the items will be forwarded to you. Once a decision is rendered you will be notified. Please be advised your pending grievance maybe[sic] extended.”

For those of you keeping score at home, I am unfamiliar with Chief Inspector Lee. Ryan Dolan is a former assistant Ohio Attorney General who argued against prisoners, so we already know his frame of reference related to prisoners’ rights.
This might be good, might not.
I have been under the impression that this mail-theft fuckweaselry originated with the FBI through their agency liaison Trevor Clark, who is generally the source of all fuckweaselry to which I have been subjected… and Clark is in the office of ODRC Legal Counsel. So, if this originates with the FBI through Trainwreck Trevor, then this next pow-wow is simply a dog and pony show to impress the House of Representatives and the Secretary of State and the King of Denmark (not really the King of Denmark… I think the King of Denmark is dead, actually, much to the grief of Danes everywhere).
But, if this mail-theft fuckweaselry actually originated with local clowns who passed the civil service test by drinking three six-packs without throwing up, then this meeting of the fascist brain-trust might potentially get me my stolen mail– the stolen mail that the fuckweasels admit to have stolen, anyhow.
So far, the experimental strategy in all of this has been that I post an inspiring and entertaining (inspirtaining?, enterspiring?) update and propose phone calls and emails, and then all of you savage cannibals out there hiding in the bushes around various government buildings, waiting to chew on the sociopathic suit-monkeys running our world badly, avail yourself to the modern means of communications technology and, collectively, you blast way too many proverbial watts through their proverbial tiny speakers. You take proverbial steaming dumps on their proverbial coffee tables. You cram eighty pounds of proverbial sausage meat into their proverbial ten-pound sausage skins.
You get the proverbial drift.
So far, whatever you lunatics out there have been saying to these suit-monkeys appears to be working. They have even created a new process of review to see if I should get my stolen mail after all the rubber-stamps have already dried and after the items should have long ago been destroyed.
Whatever you’ve been saying, please say it one more time.
Chief Inspector Lee can be reached at (614) 752-1677 and Legal Services’ Ryan Dolan can be reached at (614) 752-1765. I have no phone number for the King of Denmark (who is, as I said, unfortunately deceased and not really involved in this). Savage cannibal swainiacs can call and do one of two things:
–Explain how these withholdings are unreasonable and are interfering with statutory duties of state agencies and courts without any real penological interest, on the basis of inapplicable pretexts about “conducting business” never previously applied to any other prisoner… and how the withholding interferes with U.S. mail… and interferes with an animal enterprise protected under federal statute, as the Army of the 12 Monkeys is regsitering as an animal enterprise… and interferes with my right to intellectual property, as I own the trademark name for the group… or,
–Tell these fuckweasels how you really feel about how they are terrorizing my mail communications and how you hold them responsible if I don’t get my mail, in whatever colorful language you feel is appropriate and best represents the machete-weilding, molotov-throwing, dumpster-burning, cop-car-tipping savage-cannibal demographic.
Just as before, I suspect, the more calls, the greater the chances I’ll get my mail and the fuckweasels will lay off in the future.
We struggle.
We win.

Sean Swain
DOC #A243-205