As a F2M transgender incarcerated in Texas serving hard time in prolonged solitary confinement, my days are filled with much anguish, defeat, depression, frustration, and discouragement. But I find comfort in writing, reading anything, listening to the news (NPR, BBC news, Texas Standards) on my radio, watching sermons on the Pando via Securus tablet, exercising and deep meditation. I’ve been published in the San Francisco Bayview newspaper, Southern Cultures magazine, Tacenda Lit Mag with Bleak House Publishing, Evening Street Press & Review and collaborating with Solitary Watch.
I’ve been on hormonal therapy since 2018 after a decade-long fight against TDCJ to receive medication for my Gender Dysphoria diagnosis that UTMB specified. I’ve been successfully transitioning ever since. But my transition has not been without obstacles, trials or tribulations.
I’ve been a victim of every abuse known to mankind while being a resident at the Lane Murray Unit. But I am a survivor and a warrior. Texas has the most brutal prisons across the nation. Texas is known for its inhumane treatment against people of color, LGBGTQIA+ people and the Latino race. Texas is known for its high number in capital punishment and executions. Texas is known for its torturous utilization of solitary confinement. Texas is known for its intimidation tactics and oppressive ways such as rape, discrimination, racial profiling and is not limited to murdering innocent lives.
“Justice Doesn’t Exist. I live with scars that my soul cannot heal from.”
Justice doesn’t exist. I live with scars that my soul cannot heal from. I live with injuries my body will never regenerate. I live with a deteriorating mental stability. I live with a pulverized emotional state. I live with a defeated self-esteem. I live with a broken spirit. All because of a system that was made of capitalism, imperialism, autocracy, and slavery. A monopoly that allows the rich to get richer and the poor to remain poor. In Texas, the slaves were not freed until the prisons were built and the same plantation owners and slave owners utilized the 13th Amendment to its own sadistic benefit. The prisons are made for slavery in Texas, making prisoners work 8-14 hours a day for free while TDCJ profits off of the prisoners labor. Most of the prisons are named after slave owners and White AmeriKKKa republicans. Lane Murray Unit is known for its violations of civil rights, ethical code of conduct, policy and constitutional right. The violence against the women prisoners are grotesque and unbelievable. Lane Murray Unit should be the name of a cancer or disease considering the death toll it calculates. A prisoner is either beat to death by an employee or a prisoner commits suicide every week. In the summers, a prisoner dies from heat exhaustion or heat strokes every other day. Lives are endangered at Lane Murray Unit like the front lines of Gaza or Ukraine. It is no exaggeration! The struggle is real.
I blog to express myself and free my mind. Not many people are aware of the atrocities that occur in prisons. The voices of women are suppressed out of fear of retaliation and further/worse abuse in Texas prisons. As a martyr, I speak for all F2M transgenders and women incarcerated in Texas. I am lucky to be alive! I am lucky I am not paralyzed from the waist down from the beatings I’ve been subjected to by the hands of officers. I am lucky I have not lost my sanity. I find solace in writing. I find liberation in reading. I find healing in meditation. I find insight in my daily battles that I survive. No matter how much transphobia and racism I face I am still standing tall. The transphobic slurs and racial remarks make me stronger. My days are filled with motivation because I do not want to die in prison. I do not want to suffer in vain. I want my voice to reach those who feel like no one knows or cares how they feel or what they’re going through. I want to save a life from suicide. I want to give someone that peace they cannot find. I am trying to be that change in the world, that growth and healing. I can only dream about freedom. I can only dream about love. I am not my prison sentence or crime. I am human!
Contact Info:
Britney Gulley #1601281
Lane Murray Unit
1916 N. Hwy 36 Bypass
Gatesville, TX 76596
or
Britney Gulley #1601283
PO Box 660400
Dallas, TX 75266
Email:
https://www.securustech.net
(Note: Search for Britney in the State of Texas, under the facility name Texas Department of Criminal Justice).
