Sometimes, we tend to become so in tune with, or so as one with just the idea of love & being in love that we can’t see the falsehood that a misrepresentation of love can bring about. That misrepresentation that I’m speaking of, I tend to refer to as “The Hate That Comes From Love”. Trying so hard to love a person the “right” way can sometimes overwhelm you & become arduous. It will reach that point if you’re not receiving the same love that you’re giving. When that’s the case, you’ve allowed your vision of reality to become blurry & you began to format this feeling within that interupts the natural course of loving. Once that has happened, knowledge has officially been born to you that loving someone so hard without being given that same love in return can & will hurt you more than it comforts you. In this time frame, you’ve actually developed “The Hate That Comes From Love”. What I mean is, you begin to HATE the fact that you LOVE that person & it hurts you to your core because all you want is to be loved by them the same way that you love them. It may seem kind of complicated to comprehend, especially if you’ve never had to go through this.
Unfortunately, I’m experiencing this right now & it’s taking everything within me to cope with this HATE that I have for LOVE. I was once head over heels in love with this particular woman, but that love that I was giving wasn’t fully embraced as it should’ve been & because of that, she eventually gave in to being distracted by the gratifications of sporadic physical endeavours with people that didn’t care about her at all. I tried to convey those truths to her, but my realness wasn’t valued enough for her to take heed to my words. All I wanted her to do is acknowledge to the fact that I had put her first & foremost in my life, adjacent to the Most High, & nobody else would love her like I intended to. The influence of others played a major part in her not focusing solely on me & what we could’ve had together. I’ve suffered so much heartache & pain throughout this whole ordeal, but still be trying to mend a broken situation because of how I feel about this person. But…it’s like…I can’t erase that HATE that I’ve developed for LOVE. I really hate the fact that I love a woman that doesn’t know how to let me love her. I just don’t understand it…&…it makes me think that as much as she speaks of wanting “true love”, she has no idea what it really is. I don’t know think she has a general concept of reality when it comes to love & it hurts because I be feeling like I can be the one to lift the wool from over her eyes, but it’s hard to do when she is blind to the fact that ALL of my intentions are good. I sit & extricate my thoughts daily, trying to understand why I continue to try to make things work with her & I can’t figure out why everything that we’ve built seems to be on a ground that was never solid in the first place. All I can tell myself is that I love her & I’m beginning to feel like it’s ignorant of me to hold onto it because I know she doesn’t even deserve a love so genuine..but…yet & still, I’m continuously trying to convince her that with me is where “true love” resides..smh. I hate that I feel like this; I have to find a way to rid myself of this HATE that I have for LOVE. I’m so afraid that I’m going to miss out on the opportunity to be loved the “right” way by a good woman because as long as I have this HATE for LOVE, I won’t be able to see “true love” when it’s staring me right in my face.
I just ask all that read this, man or woman, to not deprive yourself of everything that you deserve from the person that you’re with…meaning…DO NOT settle. Make sure that you’re getting the same love that you’re giving. Only then can that love become one & be labeled “unconditional”. I hope & pray that you don’t develope “That Hate That Comes From Love”. We all need love in our lives, but only if it’s REAL & sincere. Every King needs a Queen & vice versa. There’s a right & a wrong way to love somebody & true love definitely exists. It’s just that not everyone gets to experience it & most people end up having to endure so much heartache & pain that it leaves them emotionally scarred for life, all in the pursuit of that state of happiness & serenity that comes with “true love”. Hopefully, you can gain some insight from this & better your situation with your significant other. As always, I appreciate your time & know that I will ALWAYS be here to help stimulate the minds of my people, only to help my people grasp a better understanding of what’s really REAL.
-Forever Real-
FARN $leepy
Dennis Martin
DOC #1152550
