APRIL 4, 2019
This week has had some highs and some realizations, not much for lows to speak of however which is unusual and I’m grateful for. My highs were I signed up for and was accepted for an all day, all weekend Bible study. I received a visit from Halsey my ex Father in-law and since January I have lost 22lbs from 280. Let me tell you I have given up drugs, drinking and sex, (all of which are available in prison) but food is the hardest habit to beat. Lastly the one thing I have been anticipating for weeks now was for this Blog to be up and running. I am so excited to have this opportunity to do what I hope will be some good. The reason i’m sharing all this with you is because none of this has any meaning if you don’t have someone to share it with. I was telling someone here about my weight loss and he looked at me and said, ” do you expect me to care or be excited for you cause YOU! Lost weight!” He wasn’t trying to be an ass about it but it was still a kick in the teeth. It was a dismal reminder of how lonely this place is. The Sad truth is most people in prison know deep down they are here alone. Sure we all have our little clicks, gangs or just people we hang out with but 99% of them we will never talk to again when we leave prison and most of them will turn there back on you if it will benefit them. The very few you may make a positive connection with, for instance, someone who is also on the road to changing their life and healing well, the DOC makes sure to remove them from your life because when you get out it is a violation of parole to interact with another felon. There is a simple solution to this however. I could find it within myself to be proud of these things. Easy enough you would think but when you’ve spent most of your life destroying other people’s lives, finding pride in anything you do is nearly impossible. Even for the few who have family outside these fences supporting them, we know we have hurt you and for many of us we know we will hurt you again. We live in constant fear we will do, say or something in our past will be revealed and chase the only loved one’s we may have left in our lives away and for this we are truly sorry even if we can’t say it now. Please know that we feel this sorrow in our core and we need you to pray that someday sooner than later the men we were meant to be will be revealed and we will find pride in ourselves and the suffocating loneliness we all stuff deep inside our souls will fade away allowing us to feel, for most of us the first time sympathy, empathy and even love.
Categories: Greg Andreotti