Johnnie Harris

Comedy (part 6), by Johnnie Harris

OK It’s some things in life that need to be said like when a bitch got bad breath, I went to see this doctor,now I came in perfectly fine,I left with an headache, vision problems,and a loss of breath. this lady breath smelled like 10 cans of bounce that ass, like she just ate a shit sandwich. I don’t think the best poker player in the world could of kept they poker face,I had to figure out a way to get out of there. so when she was about to ask me another question I said hold on just a second I looked to my left and said to an imaginary person, nigga get yo hand out my pocket!!! you should of seen her eyes they looked like a crack head eyes when he just got high. she was about to say something else, that’s when I said nigga I told you get yo hand off my wallet and I start acting like we was having a tug a war lol… I ain’t never seen a women run so fast in heels in my life. I know y’all then had some moments when you, wish you could’ve did something to get out of a bad situation. will let me explain a couple for you. like this one time I was being chased buy the police I hopped on top of an garage. I knew I was gone get caught so I figured maybe I could disguise myself I don’t know what possessed me to get assnaked and do ninja poses. when the cop seen me he said get your buttnaked ass down now!!! then he got on his walkie talkie and said immediate assistance we got an assnaked situation, assnaked situation!!! I can hear his police buddies laughing they ass off. I had this problem but I couldn’t get naked cause I was in church. so I’m in church with my girl now she want me to put some money in the pot ,now this my last $100 I said OK but I had other plans, I said to myself thinking as I’m making my way to the pot. it clicked in my head,I said its now or never I fell on the floor and screamed seizure one leg going up and down in the air,one eye rolling back and forth,one hand throwing up gang signs. I remember one time I went to the social security building trying to get a check.I was denied so on the way out my mom said fall down the stairs.I looked at her and said bitch that’s a long way down. I said what I’m gone get out of this she said 100$ before she could say anything else I was stop dropping and rolling. they asked me what happened I said Elvis and Michael Jackson was having a dance off and I was trying to get out the way and tripped. they asked me if I could walk I said Elvis forgot his guitar.

Johnnie Harris
DOC #664-626

Categories: Johnnie Harris

1 reply »

  1. Excellent job of turning this thing into entertainment I don’t enjoy all the stories about I’m sorry I’m crying why ain’t nobody helping me you got yourself into a situation it’s good to see somebody making the best of it entertain us all funny s*** is where it’s at nobody care about no crying


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