Roger Black Jr.

OWNING OUR CHOICES, by Roger Black Jr

(Chapter 2 of Your Next Chapter)

In my last post I named five areas of my life that I am going to develop a workable plan for. Those areas are: Education, Spiritual, Relationships, Physical wellbeing, and financial.
The first thing I must do is ask myself three questions pertaining to each of these areas of my life; which are:
1) Where am I currently in each area of my life?
2) How did I get to the point that I am in each area of my life?
3) Where am I going in each area of my life, and how?
I can make it quick and easy, and say that I was lied on, sent to prison and now my life sucks. That is the easy way out, playing the role of a victim –like I had no participation in getting where I am; and furthermore it provides no foothold for moving forward. Instead of approaching it from that place of a “victim of circumstances”; I will assess how my choices played a part and led me to my current state.
First and foremost; I accept full responsibility for my incarceration. I made poor choices that placed me in questionable situations. Did I do what I have been accused? No. However; if I would have made wiser choices, I would not have been in the situations I was in to be lied on. So this incarceration is nobody’s fault but my own.
Now that I have that out of the way, it would be easy to say the areas of my life I want to focus on are off kilter because of my incarceration; but truth is these areas of my life have been off kilter for many years. The biggest problem is that I just have coasted through life for so long, making no plans for the future, living in and for the moment. So it is poor choices and unpreparedness on my part that has led me to this point.
The first thing I want to look at is my education. I received my GED at seventeen years old (I am now 36), and I received some college credit between ages 26-28. I have on the job training in various warehouse duties including dock work (shipping and receiving, and stocking), pick-and-pack, inventory keeping; and training on hand truck, walk behinds, forklifts, and cardboard compactors. I have on the job training with various skilled carpentry trades, including fence work (installation, tear out, and repairs), drywalling, roofing, framing, window installation, setting vanities and trim work. I have on the job training in landscaping, where I have been trained in operating various machines. I have training with. building, repairing, and selling pallets and pallet furniture. I have also done auto detailing, fitness training, and I have taught a number of classes and led several different groups. I have been an institutional cook, prep cook, dishwasher, and lead GI (detail cleaning). I am currently the first shift laundry porter, washing, drying and folding 35-40 loads of laundry per day. All of this is education that I have acquired over time, which if put to use would prove beneficial. My desire and passion is business, and I have failed to pursue this desire and passion whole hearted. I will obtain a degree in Business Management with a major in human resource management. I will obtain this degree with the help of corporate sponsorship and my Rehabilitation and Success Team (R&S Team) that I am in the process of developing. Until I begin my college courses, I will find business books and other publications and study on my own. I will also locate the Business section of Local papers to study trends and markets. I will also expand my vocabulary by learning proper meaning and spelling of three to five words every week. My failure to utilize the education I have acquired, and pursuing further education had left me in a state of “just getting by”.
The next area I will focus on is my Spiritual Life. I believe in Jesus Christ, and I believe that He died for all our sins. I just don’t get caught up in all of the different practices and beliefs that separate one denomination from another. I guess the best way to put it is that I am Spiritual, but I am not religious. I will start reading more Scripture and get into a prayer life to connect with my Lord and Savior. I will read at least half an hour everyday, and I will make it a point to turn to God in prayer as I go about my day. I have been slack in reading and prayer.
The next thing I will focus on is personal relationships. I have had a lot of issues with family, friends, ex girlfriends, and associates because of past hurts and disappointments I carry from one relationship into the next. I will build on positive relationships, break away from unhealthy relationships; and I will be sure to be the friend that I would like others to be for me. I have not been the friend, son, father, spouse, or confidant that those closest to me both need and deserve. I will work on being that positive factor in the lives of others and be aware of unhealthy relationships.
Now my physical well-being… I have asthma and my blood pressure runs slightly high. I also have depression and anxiety. I have “self diagnosed” myself with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) after working my way through the BPD workbook. I have not been working out like I should, so I am going to get on a workout. I understand my faults in past failed relationships because of the symptoms of BPD, and I am implementing healthy boundaries in relationships. Working out regularly and taking my meds is how I will ensure my physical well-being is up to par.
Finances has always been a huge stressor for me. Even here in prison. I have a problem with saving. I am setting a budget for myself. I am using my state pay and “money” (commissary) that I hustle up to start practicing my saving, which is helping me better budget what I have in my possession, and it allows me to save money on my books.
Over the next several weeks I will put all of this together and develop a workable plan for moving forward.

Roget Black Jr #729370
PO Box 740
London Ohio 43140

(email available through: Jpay.com)

Categories: Roger Black Jr.

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