I was denied of being a little boy and now I’m punish for what I was taught that make a man. I became a stranger to my own desires due to circumstances that was thrown upon me as a child. Things went own in my household like any other, but the children are the ones that truly suffered. Along with that came me living in America as a BLACK MAN. For those who was born in the late 70’s, 4 of every 5 black man in America will be incarcerated. Not to mention fighting, striving and struggling to stay alive. On top of that, no guidance down the right path, picking up the bad that laid in front of me. I have been chopped to pieces by a life of deprivation, of sensation and by lies. Then it all became natural to me. And in the mist of it all, I too became a bad person. I can only remember the sun shining a few times in my life. Just about every memory I have has a element of pain and disappointment, and my pains and disappointments choke to death the little joy, pleasure and happiness I’ve ever got to know in my life. (That’s when my sister Punky did things for me and when I met a woman by the name of Gwendolyn Carrie Collins, who had two kids). During my days on this earth and even now, I try to cling to anybody or anything to break my fall, to stop from hitting the ground. I screamed and acted out, then the worst was thought of me, so I created some enemies along the way, so today I mostly stand alone or I’m still being held accountable for the bad choices I made yesterday. When I say “yesterday”, I mean from what I did 18 yrs ago. Not giving me a “chance” to see the man I’ve become today (Gwendolyn Carrie Collins and Kevin D. Dinkins). Leaving not many to reach out their hand to me. And when I did get someone to reach out to me, I didn’t recognize it because all the “No’s” I’ve been told before. Today I hold no value. The only light I see is when I close my eyes. This is a long shot, though I ask the gods for strength just one more time, and I will be all I desired and never got to be.

Anthony Cockroft #469497
P.O. Box120
Lebanon, Ohio 45036
email: jpay.com