you know I’ve actually been going through a few things the last couple of days.. you’ve noticed I’m sure. but sometimes I feel like its not fair to you because the way I deal with things is a little different I guess.. I don’t really make my things personal things. I sort of extend them, because I know that any sadness or frustration with life that I experience, I know that human beings are all experiencing something, which makes me feel that in those moments that I am in a community, and invisible community, of souls that are going through the same thing in their own way.. and because I know that I am strong, when I start feeling however may be and I open myself up to the invisible community– in my heart I say that there is nothing I cannot bear, and that if my strength can be extended to the community, then let it.. and I do all of this consciously, intentionally.. I just did it right now.. but as nice as this all sounds, it also creates a kind of window into these invisible realms of human unease.. the realness of it.. the reach.. the reciprocity.. and it reflects within me personally as an added tension to my already tense circumstance.. I’ve expressed this before, but from then until now it has been a continuing burden– for me the seriousness of life cannot be stressed enough.. and by that I mean that we live with intention.. and that we become aware of that intention.. I say this from a place that recognizes the degree of harm to self and the world done Unintentionally.. Unaware.
I intentionally think about humanity before in fall asleep, remembering how small I am.. a worm.. but how big Love is.. and how much it is needed..
Bobby Irelan
DOC #F-59719
