This is a letter written by a friend that committed suicide soon after it was written.I am posting this because hopefully someone will be edified by it and not commit suicide.Robin and other people helped keep me alive,even though Robin didn’t know what I was going through.

Dear “Jake The Sage”my new son-

Hello!Loves your last letter,you have quite a gift,very entertaining, clever,witty,and as they say “a way with words”.You make me smile.Now,about us parents,we are people first,then parents and I’m sure you know by now that(unfortunately) most people are “fucking nuts” in one way or another and to varying degrees.We,parents/people,have our dreams,exceptions,aspirations of how our life is going to be but somewhere along the line(even with the most highly educated and best “planners”)things go awry and “real” life steps in and changes our reality.Something a we can control,many times we can not.My brother tells me sometimes to “lower my expectations” so I don’t get hurt by people/situations.Whatever the truth is we can only count on ourselves.Our parents do their best(hopefully) to guide us,help us through this crazy life but we make our own decisions. I am 57 years old and my family helps me soooooo much,like I’m a 20 year old.My choices have put me where I sit today(dang,I’m a dumbass!)and even though its far from idea,I have so much to be grateful for.I’ve just began to accept things(losing my house,getting divorced,not giving my kids the “perfect” life I’d imagined).Acceptance is huge and quite necessary in order to move forward.You seem to have a great out look and to have an excellent grasp on things.I admire that in you.You’ll kick butt with anything you decide to do when you get out of there!You are awesome!I apologize if this letter is boring or seems lecturing,it wasn’t intended to do that.I was just writing from the heart…Love to you Jakob,Your “new” mom and president,CFO,CEO,and all mighty ruler of the obvious club,Robin.

Jakob Helleis
DOC #AA-1134