Archie Wilder

More tea Vicar, by Archie Wilder

In response, their isn’t a human being on this planet who isn’t capable of lying.I’m by no means this holy stuck up vicar.I’ve made a lot of mistakes.But I don’t take friendship lightly.Especially when I was told by them that they considered me a good friend.Plus they prided themselves on good principles and morals.And we have had deep detailed conversations about lying.So it wasn’t the fact that my friend lied,its because they lied to me!and what they lied about.I have seen and done a lot of things inside and outside of prison.And my friends in these environments I try to equip them with knowledge to make good decisions.And I felt like,by them lying to me that they didn’t trust me.Do you understand that?And on top of that,after knowing that I knew,they still lied.And I guess maybe it was because they had been spending weeks telling me that I was crazy,and they didn’t want to admit that I was right.He said he felt like I was scrutinizing every thing he did.But in all actuality I was trying to keep them safe.He is hanging around individuals who are only out to use them and they can’t see it.This is their first number so they are very naive.He is very smart,but I know for a fact he isn’t use to dealing with sharks like this.But the sharks don’t like me because they know that I will educate him and they won’t be able to trick him so easily.And one of their closest friends is in my dorm.I have been in this dorm with him for 2 1\2yrs.I know who he truly is.He is a full fledged dope fiend,he is a thief,and at one point and time he lived an alternative life style.Now I wouldn’t just tell anyone that because its not my business.But it is my business if MY FRIEND is associating with them.Do you follow me?Okay, I’m not the type of friend who will sit back and watch a friend make a bad decision.With me its not about right or wrong,it’s about my friends safety and well being.You see,in prison if you get into serious trouble they can up your security and send you to another prison.I don’t want to see him go,but the people he hangs around could careless.They hang around him to see what they can get.And I just wish that they could see how their so called friends talk about them when there not around.He calls them dumb,slow,stupid.And he feels like he can do no wrong in there eyes and that all he has to do is act like he isn’t going to be friends with them anymore and they will do WHATEVER HE WANTS.And I get mad because I tell my friend these things,and its like I’m being negative. Maybe they don’t want to see what’s in front of them.Their being played!I’m starting to realize that my friend doesn’t understand their value or worth.We all have insecurities,and a lot of times we make decisions based off of that.So we settle for one sided friendships and relationships that are not healthy but toxic for us in the long run.I’ve done it myself.And that’s why it was no need to lie,because I’ve made many mistakes.And we are not talking about spilling coffee and helping getting it out.We are talking about a friends feelings.The only way you feel like no harm is done,is if the other persons feelings didn’t matter.And if they don’t at least tell them.I’m very good at chest and the Queen is the most powerful piece on the board.Life is like chess,And I hate it when I see people who are queens allow themselves to played like a pawn.Or a person who has the potential to be a Queen,but the people they are surrounded by stagnate there growth as a human being.They may seem smart,but I see the decisions they make daily.And they are not the actions of smart people.But my friend doesn’t want to see it.I’m still wondering why he doesn’t believe me when I have never lied to him about anything.I just want him to know that he doesn’t have to settle for friends like that.If we are friends or not,I still care about his well being.I will never disclose any of his business,nor will I ever speak ill of him to anyone.I don’t know how much they have disclosed to there other friends who don’t like me about our conversations that we have had.But I’ve told them nothing.And I never will.I put in my paperwork to transfer to another institution.I just hope that before I leave we have a chance to have a real heart to heart talk.But I don’t have a clue to where his mind is at.So I guess I’ll have to wait on him.All the post and things I’ve written about friendship and loyalty are real.Its not just idle talk.IF YOU ARE TRULY MY FRIEND I ACCEPT YOU FLAWS AND ALL.MISTAKES AND BAD DECISION ALIKE. WE CAN FACE IT TOGETHER.Instead of trying help clean the table cloth,I’ll either take the blame,by another one,or beat everyone up at table until you got away 🙂 As long as you were good is all that would matter to me.Real friends don’t change.And this friend is really a good person,and MY ONLY OBJECTIVE is their friendship.Because most people are selfish,and they only think about what they can get out of friendship.It happens to me often.People try to slide under me for many different reasons.But I keep my grass cut so I can see the snakes coming.When I do get out,this is someone I had plans on coming back to visit,getting on his jpay, and talking to on a regular basis.But right now I feel like things are in limbo,because he has never expressed to me how he feels about our friendship.I feel like his other friends opinions and feelings are more important than mine.But I could be wrong.I remember the first major argument we had,he told me: your still my friend,you can’t get rid of me that easy. I wonder if that’s still true.So in closing,it wasn’t the fact that they lied,its the fact that they lied to me and made me question our friendship.ALL I WANT IS WHAT’S BEST FOR THEM. AND THE DECISIONS THEY ARE MAKING NOW, AND THE PEOPLE THEY ARE MAKING THEM WITH ARE NOT GOOD.So no I don’t want anymore tea vicar!I want to know where I TRULY STAND WITH MY FRIEND,OR IF WE ARE FRIENDS AT ALL. IS THAT ASKING FOR TO MUCH?

ARCHIE WILDER
DOC #414-917

Categories: Archie Wilder

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