Jennifer Warren

Chillin’ at The Zendo, by Jennifer Warren


Hello, everyone. How does it feel to be a sentient being today? I must say, it’s been strange times here at the Zendo. Upheaval and upset seem to be the rule. There’s been a tragic death, friends who were expecting to go home and were denied, we’ve been moved out of our building at my work, and I’ve recently had a couple ducats I didn’t expect. As usual, when I get a pass to see my counsellor and I’m not expecting it, I prepare myself for the worst, i.e. transfer out of the Zendo and to a new and unfamiliar “monastery”. Rather than just a change of locale, the transfer is a situation where you leave behind almost all of your possessions, your job, your friends, and the living situation you’ve been accustomed to, and possibly certain amenities such as the ability to email!

I received the pass the night before, so I had the whole night to ponder my fate. I thought to myself, here’s where the rubber meets the road. Time to see if any of the stuff I’ve learned about trust and impermanence and letting go have amounted to anything at all. As it turns out it was just a meeting about establishing identification for me when I go home in March. So, at least for now, I’ve managed to hit the “snooze button” on impermanence.


My favorite American guru Gangaji once said in a satsang , “you may not die of this, but you will die.” She says you actually die many times in this lifetime. Going to sleep is a kind of death. Electriconics die (knock on wood, knock on wood), people change on you. They retire, become parents, or fall in love. All of it feel like loss. It’s like we want life to remain like our favorite song or YouTube video, something unchanging that we can play over and over until we do finally confront the big D.

She also, says that you can kind of look beneath loss and discover that there are things that cannot be lost. In one of her books she told the story of spending time with her guru Papaji in India and experiencing such peace. But then he told her eventually she’d have to go home. She said to Papaji in desperation “I cannot leave you!” And his response was “No, you cannot leave me”. Then she understood and was able to go back to America and start the Gangaji Foundation.

I’m not sure I can become a Gangaji by the time I leave here, but I hope I can continue to benefit from the lessons of travelling light, but taking my newly found peace with me wherever I go. I m referring to the peace beyond understanding and even the peace beyond peace.

On that note, I would like to suggest an exercise. I would like to invite anyone reading this post right now to think about giving away just one possession, something you could live without but choose not to. Let me know how it felt to let it go, or if you could not, how it felt to think about letting it go. I’ll be sitting in the Zendo without judgment. In fact, I am already very proud of you…

Jennifer Warren #WF1092
CIW WA 807 Up
16756 Chino Corona Rd
Corona CA 92880

Categories: Jennifer Warren

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