Happy and proud of myself at the same time, or so it seems. Everything looks perfect from the outside. But on the inside the tears pour constantly, because no one understands my pain. It seems like no one even cares to figure out my true thoughts and feelings. Although I have good intentions, cause I really am a good person. Being so emotionally scarred got me prepared to bite anyone who extends a helping hand. Seeing so many wolves in sheeps clothing got me embroiled to where I dont trust anyone. Conditioning myself to think everyone has an ulterior motive. Making it remotely impossible for blissful relationships to manifest. At times I feel like the scarred dog who runs away from an abusive home, and gets discovered by a loving family. So confused with what’s real love or not. Out of default, I bite the hand that feeds me in spite of the harsh reality from the cruel world I’ve already encountered. Because everyone nowdays show fake love. I am now labeled the vicious dog who’s been biting everyone in the neighborhood. They’re scared of me, and me of them. So we avoid each other at all costs. Alone at last, but being isolated from everyone can give the feeling of being cornered. Which turns into me lashing out with hostile behavior, believing everybody is against me. But can you blame me? When being defensive is the only security I have, versus being niave and letting the next person get the chance to fool me once again. Understanding that I am misuderstood, I try to understand why others don’t understand me. When all I wanted was an empathetic ear to hear my silent cries….

Larry Williams
DOC #617316