Heartache and sleepless nights. Damaged. Tarnished. Unrecognizable. What remains is the shell of what I used to be. Before the pain, vibrant, resilient. My soul has been dragged through the fire. Torched beyond repair. Struggling to keep the flames from the woman I love the most. Although she has felt the burns of my past, she still stays. Patiently. Am I capable of giving her all that she deserves? Can I salvage what’s left of me? Piece together enough to give another human being. Will it ever be enough? Will I ever be enough? Being as I am? Would I ever believe it if someone told me so? Why is it so difficult? Waking up one morning only to find out the one person you had all your hopes and dreams in, the person you confined in, the person who you gave your soul to has abandoned you. That alone does something to a person, it takes a little from them they cannot get back. After so long, what’s left of them? a shell. empty. Tears behind every smile, heartache with every laugh. One can only keep the walls up that hide the tarnish that lay behind for so long before it all comes crashing in. I pray for peace more than I do my freedom. Regardless of where I am, if my soul is restless ill never truly be free. Pain is all I’ve known in the mids of brief moments of what I thought was happiness. I hold on what little faith I have and I try to build on it every single day. As if building a house of cards, with only a Gauss of wind away from it all coming down.
Categories: Abdurahman Abdurahman