Sean Lancaster

A BEAUTIFUL MESS, by Sean K Lancaster

I once hated my life because I was not able to appreciate the love I was born to understand and express. All kids are born to understand love and are perfectly adept at accepting, and expressing this prefect love. Until broken people come in to a child’s life bringing mass confusion, pain, and anger.

I was in search of this perfect life society told me I needed, and wanted. 
I was told by society I would get this perfect life, I just had to followed thier rules to get it. There way nothing in the rules about love.

I blame no one for the way my life turned out it was the storm raging before I was ever born. It is the sadness of the worlds broken heart that is the storm hurled use all through time and space without love, or understanding.

Don’t get me wrong I had some really good times growing up, but it was like being in the a hurricane and the good was the eye in the middle of the storm. Most of the time I was weathering some crazy storm and I was just holding on for dear life until the eye of the storm would reach me for a few blissful minutes. 

I know I am not alone in this because I had a lot of friends growing up that were weathering this same storm because their parents had to weather this same storm.

I can also see now why so many people turn to drugs, and alochol as a way to escape the storm. For a little while the drugs shelter you from all of that which is causing your pain, and gives you that warm feeling of love that you had as a child.

People die trying to get back the perfect love we are all born with. By using the drugs they think this is that perfect love they once felt as a child. Everything feel so good until they are sober and the storm is right there again beating them harder than ever before. Helplessness is the hell of a drug addict trying to feel love.

This storm is passed down through the generations, and I passed it down to my beautiful sweet children. This was the lowest realization in life, the realization that I had abandon my children the same way as my father abandoned me and my siblings.

Does this beautiful mess have an end? The answer is yes. And I found it through love and understanding.
Nothing in life is perfect without love. 

Love is the only thing in this life that is perfect and until you come to terms with this, your life will be that perfect storm and you will always just be waiting for the eye of the hurricane to give you just one moment of peace.

Why not let go of that perfect storm and learn to live a life of abundant beautiful sunny days and you will find that storm is nothing more then a small rain cloud just passing by. 

I do not have all of the answers but I do know love will pull you from the storm you call your life and out of that perfect mess.

I keep getting drawn back to the great teacher of love, Jesus. And how Jesus taught so many that love is the only thing that matters. For some reason I just could never get what Jesus was saying until that faithful day when my eye’s were opened.

I weathered this hellish storm for 47 years and for some reason I made it out alive and found this great understanding of pure love that has been waiting for me to embrace my entire life.

I am still far from living the perfect love of Jesus and his teachings but I will nevertheless be forever awestruck at the power of pure love to lift the weigh of 47 years of pain, anger, and confusion from around my neck.

Embrace your own pure love, and understanding and take your place alongside all of the great teacher of love because whatever comes our way love will conquer all.

Sean K Lancaster

DOC #993150

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