Erik Nelson

A Father’s Love, by Erik Nelson

This is inspired by my daughter Ni’Ayre Sha-lae Nelson.
Yesterday I received a email that said my daughter was mad at me for allegedly not attempting to reach out and be a father to her, but let me tell you the pain that I endure waking up each day not being able to say to her I love you and you are the encouragement of my hope to one day walk out of prison and enjoy the precious moments of happiness, and although our communication is distant and we have to pass messages via jpay through a mutual loved relative my desire and pursuit of life is to be able to give my daughter everything she deserve including the dedication of no longer being selfish and as I read the emotions and pain of hearing someone else say your daughter is mad at you my response is the sadness of if she only knew that I value her more than I appreciate myself because love’s significance is the worth of being everlasting and if I never get the opportunity again to say to her I’m sorry and my intentions is to never avoid you or cause any frustration of hatred if any, I just want all to know that as a man and father my obligation is to love my daughter with all I have and sometimes it may seem to her as if I don’t care about her feelings or the abuse of neglect she’s encountered through my seventeen years of physical absence but yet having to spend a couple hours on a visit sparingly whenever it seemed fitting for her mother or relative to bring her to see me, and its horribly disappointing because not being able to talk or see her is something that no parent should ever have to endure and although my faith in Christ Jesus carries me through the heart of brokenness all I sincerely desire is her being there with happy greetings when I finally am no longer captive to the worst mistake ever committed when I left a eleven month old daughter fatherless with only the comfort of being mothered, and even though my guilt of shame has kept me bound in chains of pain all I want is for Ni’Ayre to know that I am very proud and grateful that she’s not doing the same things that brought her Dad shame and if she will ever read this letter I want her to know that I love her and that forgiveness eases pain and one day soon we’ll be able to celebrate with unstoppable smiles of laughter without ever again experiencing the disappointment of seperation, and if I can give her one thing its that her dad will be home once again just have faith and know that prayer changes circumstances if you just keep holding on to God’s unchanging hand!

Erik Nelson
DOC #445-941

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