I’m sitting in the computer lab at Washington Correction Center. Tears fill my cheeks yet again. I’ve stopped for a break to gather my senses, allowing the pain to subside. I look out the window of this two story building — through the wire mesh grating I see the prison yard and razor wire fences. The men are exercising or talking on the phones with their loved ones — its a warm spring day. With the lightest of breezes the attitude can shift. An argument over a phone can turn into a fight; a fight into a riot, which means a stabbing or someone being gravely injured.
Its here, its living, its breathing. I feel its dark warmth inside me. Its kept me awake at night, and given me bags under my eyes. I feel its trauma in my body.
I feel my fingers hurting from the typing, yet I am compelled to write — I can’t stop.
This story must be written, it must be told. Will this finally free me? Will I be liberated from my guilt? I think not. But, I write in hopes the pain will soon subside……
I’m currently at a “work camp” prison, one of the last stages of incarceration before I get to go home. Here, I must have a job — part of training me to have a schedule and responsibilities to get me ready for the transition. After weeks of searching, I’m relieved that I have finally found one and I’m not going to be forced to work for the notorious Correctional Industries. But unfortunately, my schedule will limit the time I’ll have available when the computer lab is open. So, I’ve been trying to raise money to buy a typewriter for my cell to allow me to continue writing. It has to be an “approved” model that the prison has verified can’t be used to hide things or turned into a weapon, so it is a little pricey.
If you’ve been interested in reading my blogs so far, please consider chipping in a little. Even $5 or $10 would be a great help. Between a FB fundraiser and a Go Fund Me, I’m about one third of the way to the typewriter (the rest of the amount being raised is intended for supplies like paper, ribbons, spare daisy wheels, etc.). If interested and have the means, look in the fundraising section of the big social media behemoth for “aspiring author in need of typewriter and supplies” or on GFM “incarcerated author in need of typewriter”.
As always, if you have feedback on this or my other blog entries, please leave comments. I’m very interested in improving my skills.
Categories: Steven Nall