We all have the things that make our family special in mine the thing that I say makes our family crazy is nobody finished high school in my generation of Hoods we all have our HSE or our GED but my nephew is going to finish high school next month and I am proud of him for just that alone I feel some type of way because I am not around to witness his achievement I have missed a lot of things that have happened being in jail and that makes me depressed I be feeling like shit then on the other hand I have the possibility of being paroled soon I have been gone 5years and I miss being there for my nephews and nieces they situation has been similar to my own growing up with the exception of them being sucked up by the streets they are good kids I love them all dearly so where I do fit in in the scheme of things the reason I say this is I a dam near 36 and don’t have shit due to the time I spent in jail I have our the drive to want to do well but I have the underlying fear of every thing under the sun the only thing that keeps me balanced is my older sister she is the most rational one in the family and she totally has my best interest in mind at all times she says I can come live with her until I get on board but she lives down south and I a from N.J. I was kinda iffy about this but my nephew who is about to graduate is about to do the same thing until he gets on his feet I just don’t want to go from the only place I know to be somewhere in the sticks but just knowing that my nephew is leaving that makes me more comfortable having more of my family that I have a good bond with surrounding myself with people like that will help make my transition a lot easier the hardest part is going to be finding my primary income but I hear that the south is not like that if you wanna work they will give you a job I might go to my sisters when I am released in Jersey is polar opposite it’s hard up north I just have to be optimistic about to things I just want to be a asset to my family for a change

Antwan Hood
DOC #451232c/967018