Today I found myself writing a few letters to a few programs that offer help with people in the same situation as myself. I could always go home and live with my mom or my sister but I will be 36 by the time I leave here .I will have five and a half years away from society. There are some people that do not have any options when they leave jail I am happy to have the option to either hit the ground running and don’t look back no matter what until I am adjusted and on my feet or go with a safety net.I am at a point in my life where I am like I just don’t want to live with anyone.After being in jail for such a extended period of time back to back that’s just the way I feel. I am use to providing for my self and my girlfriend but I am realizing that that was me in a past life but I am still a provider I just have to do it for myself and everybody is not worthy of what I have to offer so just do what I have to do and eventually all that I need and maybe some of my wants will fall into my lap.I am used to living life on the edge and what I am about to face it’s going to be a lil scary that is life though the difference between what is going to take place in the future and what happened back then is I was young boy ripping and running selling drugs I was kool you have a whole class of people that love the image of a bad boy that was then now that I am older and have matured a lil and had a taste of what it feel like to lose things from multiple different angles my life is now at a turning point to.I am just looking at the end game to have a place that I am at ease where you can just lock the outside world out and have a peace of mind so I can just do anything that I please without any backlash from any one .I want to think about my own weird lil ideas do my lil research figure out if I can make any of my ideas a reality things like that.I have a lot that I want to do and I have missed out on a lot also so I kinda know what I want to do I just have to put in my own foot work and find out what’s gonna be best for me.That’s where the letter writing today came into play if I can get a jump on things now I will know what I am looking for where to go and what kind ofhelp I will be getting.So far I wrote two church organization and a service for veterans family members hopefully they have some information for my situation. I was talking to my sister a few days ago and I asked her how life was treating her and things of that nature I asked her about her boyfriend and the answer she gave me was that she was too old to have a boyfriend once I thought about it there was a truth in it.Their are some of things that you are just too old for you have to grow up and stand on your own two feet.The reason I dont want to live with my famy is for one I am too old and it goes against my core beliefs of male taking care of female.Two my sister is my older sister I can end up never leaving there my niece is four and she is so adorable I could end up just being their cause she told me it’s more common then I think for families to share a home I am her lil brother so on and so on.I can x that out.I hope that I can get me a hotel room until I can find my temporary housing most of the times that is how they do it in Jersey but if that is not my path I am fine with that as long as I get temporary housing hopefully for a year. I know that I will be working during this whole process so my thing is to save my money during my whole temporary housing process then take my savings and use that as a down payment on my own home to do with it as I please to live in it or to sell for a lil more then I paid for it who know all I do know is that with a lil help where I need it I can be a asset to everyone in my circle.

Antwan Hood
DOC #967018/451232c