Dennis Watson

Surrounded By Myself, by Dennis J. Watson

Alone, again speaking the poem of a hustler… Tussling with myself, so no amount of muscle is needed… I believe, if you think it it will happen, so I keep my thoughts contained in the back end of my imaginations… The amount of patience you should have in these circumstances… Is enough to receive pay from the stripper for her private dances, & that’s unlikely… I’ve tried to involve myself in the social circles but all the hype brings, is bullshit & drama… I never show ownership to anything like a apostrophe… I’m being beyond everything that I gotta be, period… I’ve made it clear enough to evade my mysterious & just leave me be… No problem to roll up my sleeves & get deep in, head 1st… This is why when it comes to matters of the heart I always go head 1st, because that organ will deceive you… Into falling deep into something that eventually cheats you, this is why it’s just me & you… I barely believe in you half the time, but whom else can I trust with my sanity? With the things life has handed me I’ve bandaged up & handled with ease, I know you can do better than this… It’s better to give than accept a gift, so I sit with these folded arms… While all rats continued to be charmed by the snake & swallowed whole… I walk alone, but surrounded constantly… With monsters that decided to leave the closet & got incarcerated in the process… With the false promise to provide the affectionates object… God blesses whom God will… While evil preachers build, steal, & rape a soon to be man is it still God’s will? The only thing the devil did was make a suggestion… He knows the bible better than anyone in the book, but can plot from your confessions… A mess we’ve made of one another… The nest we laid in is only to spread our wings away from… Some don’t even make it this far… The reason I like to be alone with my own is because I feel disbarred… This scar, is one of the reasons I’d rather keep my own company… Trust is a word I don’t like to throw around because most who do it up & leave, without explanation… This is why I down shots, smoke pot & drive with no destination… Feeding my education by learning from people with no expectations, I guess it keeps them from getting hurt… In my assertive life, at the end of it all I’m getting is dirt… Well, it could be worse, my life could’ve meant nothing… When love leaves it possibly wasn’t there in the beginning… Which means unconditional is something you’re so unwilling, to give… Fear is something they let me defeat when my life was ruined… The fight I’ve been dueling since death had become so soothing, & easy to accept… The things that I collect in my mental plain wouldn’t fit next to the knick knacks on Granny’s shelf… I couldn’t tell you enough how much I miss those days… It’s just been replaced by a short kiss through a chrome cage… Pissed off ever 4 days because my bunkie is a damn creep… Eating this bullshit so I smell his ass on the top bunk so I can’t sleep… I can’t reach far enough for the grasp of a woman… I’m stuck with the ones built like ms piggy mixed with Harriet tubmen, no disrespect… With the cards that I’ve been dealt, who in the fuck mixed this deck?!! I get no rest, even when I sleep good… Peace should, be something on the menu, but it’s still treated as if it were cheap goods… Wood? Should I knock on it, does it even work? Knowing my luck, I’d just get a splinter from it & bleed 1st… We’ve been cursed people, governed by the deepest that evil has to offer… We only get 2 major choices being black men, a, 6 by 10, or a, coffin… No off season, cause uncle Sam still greedily digs in the pockets of the impoverish… If you ain’t rocking a mic or hiking a ball… you’re working to death or chefing the raw… I bet that a politicians daughter got strung out… His plan just back fired on him, cause his best kept secret has got out… As I bout with myself daily… Maybe the fight will be won if I stay conscious… I’m the product of a broken promise, but will stay safe when I’m surrounded, by myself..

Dennis J. Watson
DOC #A632936

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