To this day I have been in constant contact with my Wonderfully Amazing children. My Son just turned 5 in December and my Daughter 7 in January. They’re all I truly thinking about and fighting for because I’m their Father. I pray for them every chance I get and look at their photos of them. I love them Alot!. But there are days like today,I’m depressed because I Miss them and their mom alot. She’s a great Lady,very strong minded and has a great heart to match. We are friends. But today is a day I cry,I keep going through my mind what I seen and if I could have done better for my children. It devastates me and it’s hard for me to understand what had happened,but it’s even harder on me because I was accused without full knowledge of what actually happened. I beat myself up being if I only knew what our caregiver knew,I feel that I could had taken care of my son before anything else happened and the doctors, detective wouldn’t had falsely accused me or anyone of any wrongdoing? They thought I was lying to them because I couldn’t share everything with them about my son’s injuries when they asked. Any ways,I feel I lost my family? I have so much remorse,I feel that I failed as a Father/man! To be apart of my family would be a blessing! I wouldn’t mind if it’s just sitting in the room quiet coloring pictures with my children,playing games or what ever as long as I could be involved. I write this to (Fathers) whom ever may read this. I’m a Father no matter where I’m at and I feel it’s the Best Honour,I ever experienced in life. I cry because I’m human and when I hear my son and daughter’s voice,I just feel I have a purpose in life. But I also have to deal with rough days too,being my children’s mom has a right to be upset with me,even when she yells at times to express her frustration,because I love my family,I listen to understand. Why do I,is it the right thing to do,and I understand it’s not all about me. I listen with Respect, Care and Love to learn what she has to say because we are parents/friends and a family,I’m human just like her as I’m no better than she. I feel she’s Awesome! I respect my children’s mom alot! Together,We got along very well. We made decisions together,talked about everything as we are family. I don’t know everything about relationships,but I try to be open minded. Even when she blames me for things I don’t understand or done, just like she blames me for what happened as she blamed the caregiver as she has a right,she’s a mom. I blame myself too but,I do only because I feel so confused and didn’t know what the caregiver done until we found out. As they refused to investigate her. But after understanding with an open mind I don’t blame the caregiver because she stated things happened by accident and she done things that would’ve explained how the injuries came about,and I feel if the detective would had investigated correctly with an open mind,I feel he’d see too,that the injuries were accidental? I’m upset about what had happened,but I can’t accuse wrongly as I got accused? I hope this makes sense? I am a Believer in Jesus and I forgive! Anyways I look up to my children’s mom and she keeps me in line! Anyways I must be understanding that she’s going through alot too,as she’s taking care of our children by herself as I’m incarcerated. It’s hurts very much and I want to do my part so badly! I feel,I’m losing alot of time from my family,over this wrongful conviction,as it’s making me feel like I’m a failure at being a Father /man because,I can’t help cook,clean,do homework with my kids,and can’t take them to the doctors,or take out the trash, etc. Also I can’t help give their mom,alone time for herself. I wish the court system would actually think before just wrongly convicting people and placing in prison system because,it’s hurting families Alot! “Putting one man in prison,costs other families on the street as tax payers $30.000.00 a year and up,just for one person. Now that doesn’t include health care costs. For an example,I have to get two surgeries and that costs the tax payers too. I have to get a Spine and Hernia surgery. When I was home,I was going to get these sugeries and I was going to pay for them. See my point!? Anyways,as Father I am not perfect but I try because life is not handed to me,I have to earn it. I’m only here in prison because I witnessed my son have a seizure,I didn’t cause it and I done what ever I could for my son to save his life. I called 911,went to the hospital to support my son. But no one sees the good,they only see the bad,I feel!? As I was falsely accused, coerced then threatened by Detective Billy Mays,that I assumed was law abiding but turned out to only be using people to incarcerate just to claim,he was doing his job to make points for a sheriff run,that he wasn’t even honest about? Then to find out all he wanted was power in the wrong way,I feel? Because he was arrested shortly afterwards on his crimes. Along with others. It hurt my family’s life because he refused to do a full investigation and if he had,he’d learn there was nothing intentionally done to my son and would’ve concluded this whole matter was done by accident of another? I am in Fear of this Broken system because,the police that are fighting to protect Us,are being criminal. It’s not fair to the Father’s and Mother’s that are trying to raise their families. I Hope and Pray that this never happens to anyone of you. We all can make a difference by keeping our congressional offices and correction facilities,Judges, police,etc in line in the correct way? If their is anyone out there with a Voice please Help? Our Families,Friends and fellow neighbors like you and I,need to all get along and be aware that YOU could be where I am. If anyone knows a good attorney that can do a Probono Case please Help? I Love and Miss my Family Alot! Please help? Have a Blessed day!
Categories: Kalen Nielsen