I find myself just about to go to sleep for the night but sometimes I find that my rest might not come sometimes for a half hour maybe longer so I lie and try to find my slumber while my mind races and it dwells on a million things like a regular person will do at the end of the day.Every mind set is different that’s what makes each of us unique. We have levels to every thing in life that’s is something I respect a hundred percent but I sometimes question myself about my place and what level I am on.That stems from a childhood that’s similar to some but foreign to others.I know I am a smart person I am humble and treat every person how I like to be treated. I am 6’6 255lbs so just not knowing me you would think I was a totally aggressive person based on looks but in fact that is the total opposite so sometimes I am prejudged .I like different things point blank period any thing that is not the norm would describe me to a tee I am fine with that .I say childhood because I am fucked up over mine I remember a lot of foul things that took place that I never had the opportunity to talk about because I felt as though I didn’t have anyone to talk to about my issues.The same people that were supposed to keep you safe were the same people who were tearing me down on some many levels it was crazy that’s why I am so emotional and I don’t trust anybody and when I say anybody I mean it from the bottom of my heart but when I let someone in and that is rare i love hard in my 35 years i really only experienced love with two people one passed and the other is something i never experienced so i did not know how to deal with it .I missed out on so much now I can identify with certain things just from listening to others and finding how that pertains to me if it does and at times if I can relate .I have some good things that are instilled in me but I am trying to extinguish the bad day by day. I know that I am getting older and have missed out on a lot of living when people I care about are no longer living and you are not able to take part in service for them that compounds your issues even further that takes you to another whole level for betterment hopefully

Antwan Hood
DOC #451232c/967018