Today I had a conversation with my homegirl… By the time the 15 minutes was up it changed her whole world… 1st time a genuine gesture of appreciation was shown… Plus, a few confessions that she’d never known was thrown… Life’s poems pitch strike zones & condone everything God permitted… Between the devil’s whisper in the hell I’m sitting is this straightjacket form fitting? She is, one of the reasons I haven’t went totally out of my mind… Somehow she stepped in when I was down to pennies from dimes… Life can chime in & beyond then strongest wind I stand firm… She’s one of the reason I’ve learned that no matter how long you know someone, let the smog get thick & they will turn… Wish I could’ve see your face when she told me that life goes on… Words that I’ll never forget, & brought an amount of pain that I rarely admit… Shit happens, right? I try to forget about everything on the inside every time you answer… I manage to handle everything with a grain of salt… I thought before I spoke, & analyzed after I listened… Telling you about the time when she lied & told me she loved me in the kitchen… You just shook your head, with a deep sigh… Probably wondering why such a close friend would turn blind eye when it came to personal things… Trust I know the feeling of when the scorpion stings… Some funny things aren’t worth laughing about… What’s sad is the amount of changes I went through to keep a smile on her snout… Yea I said snout, cause only a pig could be so unforgiving… Hollow promises will only result in your own pride to chew & begin swallowing… How could we be lovers one minute, & the next like it never existed? Ain’t that some shit? You just say, ain’t that a bitch… I say, she sure is… 2 Kids in the midst of the bullshit ditch you dig… Your best friend is still here, I’m on the phone with her… Learning about more shit I never expected you to begin spilling… I guess you learn something new everyday… Telling her the dreams I have of the task force coming to kill me every may… I say its some bullshit, you say it’ll be okay… Over 300 days have came & went several times… We never cry to each other because we’re too resilient… You’re to tough & I’m too demented… I assume physics can explain the magnetism that never keeps us too far away… Even when I can’t hear your voice, I at least try everyday… May comes every year & it’s only a reminder… That I should followed my instincts & chased my dreams a lot harder… I guess we would’ve never came into contact if that happened… I’m trapped in a nightmare, & you’re the only the relief I have from it… I would be able to stomach everything better if I actually did it… Then there would be no room to complain about why I’m angry & livid… Sympathy changes nothing, & tears never beats cases… I just lace up & fight what I can, & hope one day that I make it… As long as I can say my name on this voice recording & you pick up… I don’t have a reason to feel hatred or mixed up… My oldest daughter don’t speak to me, I guess you feel me cause she don’t speak to you neither… As long as we got each other grounded, I don’t feel like one of hell’s creatures… I’m above but beneath the earth only good enough to be worm food… Until I’m resurrected, my soul is unsoothed… Soon enough I touch grass, smell air, & feel sun shining on my skin… Never will I forget how you kept me balanced in the conversation..
Dennis J. Watson
Categories: Dennis Watson