All my life I just ran around from girl to girl…. As kids do…. Was a “VERY” active teenager… Even had a child who was born 5 days before my 16th Birthday, if that speaks any volumes….
Now I’ve had crushes, many relations, and ALOT of one and dones…. But what I never had much of was friendship with any of them….. All except one… Who at the time we met, (12-13yrs old), really played like she was too good for a little ruff neck, like myself…. Even now I smile, cause we’ve talked about this many a times….. She wasn’t bitchy or anything like that, she was always friendly and kind….. I even asked a friend of hers out and had plans to take her out to eat…. Many of times me n her we’re with each other n never nothing but casual conversation… Till one night, we kissed…. and I looked at her with a little shock, as if to think, I thought you didn’t like me…. We fooled around for awhile and right before it got to the good part…. Her mom comes crashing through in a drunken stuper, messing up any plans a boy may of had with her little daughter…. LOL….
We left it at that….. Even still we wasn’t together… It would be months before we kicked it again…. I called a friend of mine, and his mom was good friends wit hers and she was there….. Heard I was on the phone, and dam near snatched it away from my dude…. And we talked and she had brought up asking her girl out, a long while back…. “WHY YOU NEVER ASKED ME OUT”???? She asks….. So without a bit of hesitation, I said let’s go out to eat….. So I took her to a deli/restaurant in the suburb of Lakewood, called “The Place to Be” … We had a blast…. An to this day, is the only real date I have ever been on…. Still we never put effort to start a real relationship…
Years later I get a call … Its her!!!! Now by this time I’m truly damaged…. Drugs n friends I was around really had me fucked up… But I picked her up… We drove around while I sold a little dope and smoked a lot of wet…. Towards the end of the night, we we’re suppose to get dropped off at a friends house to stay wit each other for the night…. She went In to get help to get me out the car, (cause I was soooo high, I could barely walk), And we just pulled off…. A choice that will haunt me for the rest of my life….. Later that night, tragedy struck, and my life and many others would change forever…. Now I wont get into details but when I come down from all the PCP laced cigarettes, I was in full shock n panic to be explained what had transpired the night before…. A kid I knew and considered a friend was killed …. An I did nothing to stop it….
After I was arrested, one of my first letters was from her… With a $20 money order… Even in her letter she played it cool…. Even said I was like a brother to her…. Not sure if it was emotions of being locked up, but I wrote back saying I never thought of you like a sister, I have genuine love for you!!!! And that is when our true journey began……
She would stay In contact for many years…. Then a jealous boyfriend or something would push her away…. And a year or two later shed be back….. And then again, jealousy of some guy she was dating ran her off…. She came to see me many times during those days…. An I cared for her dearly… Never a argument or evil word spoken to each other…. I knew she had a life to live and I had a LIFE sentence to do….(at the time I truly felt as if I was gonna die I’m here)
Fast forward to 3 and a half years ago, she reached out to me…. Now at this time we we’re both at a better time in my life… She was grown, I was grown!!!! And we are both on a amazing journey…. She is here EVERY chance she gets to visit me and are bond is soooooo strong…. I have been staying out of a lot of bs outta fear of jeopardizing our visits and hurting her…. I’ve never had more motivation to wanna come home then I do today…. She is my motivation…. I believe, cause she believes,…. The universe will bring me home to her…. This if the motivation I needed to put me on the path to freedom…. Now I’m still In for a uphill battle, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel…. And she is standing there, waiting for me…. Her and the rest of my loved ones…. I am blessed to have them in my corner…. She makes me better… I strive to get home to her…. I gotta get home to her….. I WILL GET HOME TO HER!!!!!!!! I’m excited to say we are engaged, and will be getting married soon!!!!!!
I truly believe the key to happiness is in the love of a GOOD WOMAM, a best friend, my day 1….. This journey we had has been soooo real… Ups n downs…. And some itchs to be scratched… All understood and to be honest we have such a amazing understanding with each other…. Dam i love her…. I FUCKIN ADORE YOU “JEA”!!!!! YOU ARE MY ONE, MY ONLY, MY LAST!!!!!!! MUAH!!!!!
Thank you for letting me share…. Hope I didnt bore you….. And for all those who have a amazing person in your life…. Hug them a little tighter, kiss them a little harder, and show them you’ll love them 4ever….
TAKE CARE AND THANX FOR LISTENING…