I’m so out of my element that all I have are my dreams. I’m so out of place it’s hard to believe. to believe what I dream is so hard for me. thoughts of da past are to emotional, thoughts of da future are to unbelievable, yet my present thoughts are not enough. what you see isn’t what get. in this world MOTIVES only exist. once again out of place stares me in da face.
it’s like the movie Mean Girls with 1500 mean women every day. they gather in group and find someone to devour. predator or prey pick the one you want more. in this world so much bullying goes on. I watch daily how preys try end their lives from lack of love at home. predators kicking doors in robbing and stealing away. officers sitting back relaxed with nothing to say.
your family thinks your safe but they really don’t know how many times you were penetrate after you said NO. I survived Lowell and a few of my friends have to. but you can’t imagine how many close calls I had to endure. can’t sleep unless one eye is open. talks with my peers always says ” that girl was asking for it”, now this Convo turned into a debate. who says a woman can’t where make up just because she’s incarcerated. I was told a lady is to be a lady at all time therefore I always know I’m fine. am I out of place…in my mind?

Nicole Henderson
DOC #P47930