It’s 6:30 in the morning and my freedom is a ghost, still lying in bed but, my day began two hours ago. You see, that’s about the time I started to gather my thoughts, mentally prepare myself for yet another long walk.
Did I hear the judge right, did she really say all those years?Did they really give me a lifetime of waking up in fear? Damn,that’s a long stretch away. But I can’t think about that right now, today’s a visiting day.
So it’s time to get moving, shave, shower and get dressed. Then put on my visiting mask, the one that hides my pain and stress.I must confess, when I’m alone this time is killing me. But in that visiting room, hopeful and strong are what I’ll appear to be. I refuse to be the reason that this day doesn’t go right. So, I’ll laugh and joke all day and, cry myself to sleep tonight.
I try not to think of all the things I can’t change.Though thinking is about all I can do, until the c.o.’s call my name. I think of all the money, that i no longer have within my reach. Hopefully I’ll have enough though, to buy those shoes next week. That new album has to wait and, the video game is a no. It’s getting cold outside now and, my son needs a new coat.
I can’t help but to remember, the last letter that I received. I couldn’t believe you had the nerve, to question if our love was meant to be. You said you’d always love me and be mine, just as it was from the start. You said we’d always be best friends but, now you’d rather we separate than slowly drift apart.
It’s now 12:00p.m. , they’ve finally called my name for our visit. So for the next two hours, I’ll try to forget that I’m locked in this prison. I’ll laugh and talk, take pictures and eat while, acting as if nothing is awry. Then I’ll hold you close as I fight back the tears, softly kiss you and then, we’ll say goodbye…
Wayne Gilliam #453-816
Lebanon, Ohio 45036
Categories: Wayne Gilliam