I eventually turned into part of the scene and was known as lil sis to the GD’s in the hood. I had for months been holding these dudes pistols in my backpack. I always had my Eddie Bauer backpack on. It was a part of my drobe. Hair in a ponytail, fitted cap, jeans, Jordan’s and my Bulls jacket. Pete taught me a lot about the streets, how to shoot a pistol and how to use a box cutter to defend myself. Having a vagina between your legs as a little girl is dangerous. God should have allowed us to be born without one only to let it grow when we were old enough to defend ourselves cause all my life this vagina has caused problems for myself and others. Months go by and summer is here. School is out and I’m on the block with Pete smoking weed and wildin out . We clowning the dudes on the block. I run down the block to go pee and when I get back Pete beefin with some new dudes that live in the courtway building on the end of the block. Pete is hella chill but we both drunk and high so Pete up thang and started shooting up at the dudes and these dudes shooting down at Pete. Pete got shot in he head and I run to him and held him as blood gushed out of his head. I’m putting my hands over his forehead screaming. He died right there. I walked home covered in blood by myself. I took a bath and cried myself to sleep. That’s only the first time that I held death in my hands like a newborn. Seems that since then I’ve kept blood on my hands. I used to wonder why me but I’ve learned that God only answers questions you don’t ask. Til this very day my mother has no idea all the trauma I sustained. For some, denial is the only way they can make it. I guess her own pain clouded her vision cause he little girl was being sucked into a world that leaves you dead or in jail. Oh yeah , I need to mention that I am in prison serving 4 natural life sentences so this story of my life is important so pay attention cause you don’t want to miss anything. I’m taking you somewhere. Pete is gone so now I don’t have that big brother figure. It is just me now. My mom doesn’t seem to like me around. She’s tired of raising kids and after my step dad repeatedly raped my sister and I with me in the house with her new man she is not feeling that at all. The new dude spends his time cursing about my father and ranting about how he never wanted any of the nasty bastards (kids). One night I come into the house late as usual, moms at work, and this dude comes up to me with his gun pointed at my head saying to me ” If you can’t come in this house when your momma tell you to then don’t come back at all.” So at the age of 13 years old I say to him ” Whatever'” and go to my room. I pack a few items in my backpack and leave. I ran away never to live with my family ever again. I went to a crack heads apartment and paid her 20 bucks and crashed on the couch. This is now my regular routine for months. I was gang banging, getting high, and miraculously still going to school. At age 14 I moved in with my sister who was 19 years old at the time in an apartment on 81st and University. I had my own room chilling til she started smoking crack and messed up my flow. As he days go by I’m deeper in the GD’s and since hey started letting girls join the gang I got jumped in. Let me explain to you that there was only 2 ways to join he GD’s. The first was getting sexed in which involves a group of GD men all taking turns having sex with you to initiate you in and you then belong to the gang. You willspend the rest of your life screwing who they want when they want. The second was being jumped in which meant a group of GD men would beat you for 2 minutes an you have to fight back and not hit he floor on top of that you have to know lit which involves rules and regulations of the gang. Needless to say I got beat and made It in gaining respect for being a soldier. Now I am an SOS sister. A sister of the struggle a GD queen. I represent Lon City from State Street to the Lake front. Now I feel like I am a part of something. I feel loved now so I am willing to do whatever I had to do to keep that love and respect. One day I am chilling on 79th and Drexel chilling with the Folks when I met this chick named Star. This girl is the step daughter of one of the biggest GD’s in Chicago. He is right under the board members and yes the GD’s got a board of directors like any other fortune 500 company. Due to Star being Shorty G’s step daughter I jumped knee deep into the big leagues. Star had the mind of a grown woman and I learned a lot from her on how to be a girl because before her I was like a little dude running around. She started dressing me sexy which got me mad attention from the hustlers in the streets. One day while we were out doing our thing she introduced me to this big time dealer who owned a restaurant on 71st street. We went in to get some food which he gave us for free due to Star being big man’s daughter. Rolling with her was like being a celebrity cause every dude on the south side was crazy about her. She wasn’t the finest chick out here but she had so much game that parker brothers could have learned something from her. She talked me right out of my panties. So now I am 14 years old in the streets calling myself a lesbian. Mentally I was one of the dudes. I looked feminine yet my mind was without womanhood. I had to learn how to be a woman years later. I messed around with Star until I was scooped up by the dude with the restaurant. When a dude like him says let’s go you don’t ask any question at all. Years later I found out that Star had sold me to this dude. I ended up living with the dude in one of his lush apartments in Calumet City which is located outside of Chicago. Most big time gangsters will live outside the city and ride back and forth to Chicago to do their dirt. Yet every last one of these dudes grew up in the hood.
To be continued…
Categories: Caroline Peoples