Many of us find ourselves in relationships with women who have kids from prior relationships. For most, the transition isn’t easy and for the kids, it’s even harder. As a man in this situation, I have found this transition to be rather easy. For me, it was easy because I love my woman. She is everything to me. The kids are an extention of her, therefore I must love them also. And the truth is, I do. I care for them very deeply. I try to offer advice where it’s needed but I never try to be their father because they have a father.
I want them to know that I will always try to be someone they can depend on or look up to. I didn’t have the pleasure or the honor of raising my own daughter and it kills me everyday. Somehow she managed to grow up and have beautiful kids of her own. Whatever situation you find yourself in, don’t let the negative things influence you. If you are a child with a missing parent, let that be the gas that powers your drive to be successful. We are not our parents, we are not mistakes made by them. We are the authors of our own destiny. We design our own paths and the fact that your mother or father isn’t involved in your life is sad but it doesn’t define us. When you are able to have children of your own, make sure you are there for them. Make their upbringing better than yours was. As a parent, that’s all we want for our kids. DO well in school, BE respectful, and DO something positive with your life.
To every guy in a relationship with a woman that has kids that are not yours, love those kids. Make sure they feel included. Remember that it’s a package deal. If you can’t love those kids, nine times out of ten, you won’t have that woman very long.
For Miracle and TJ, know this: From day one I have had feelings for you both. I have grown to love you and respect your feelings. I never try to overstep or play the role of your father.
I demand nothing from you, only that you give me a proper chance. I love your mother with everything in me. Period
Mark Hooker
DOC #426689
