before I start this off, I want to clear my mistake up, I made when I made my introduction I meant to put my blogs is non-fiction besides most of the comedy, that come from me being in special ed classes since kindergarten. I was trying to tell my mom that I am normal, but she insisted if she’s special ed,then I am too. I’m saying I wasn’t until the first week. I mean I was only 11yrs old when she put me in this special class, I mean this was the top of the line special. these mutherfuckaz had ears on they neck, 3 legs, you name it, after about an hour of taking all this in, I start having an panic attack,I start examining myself,looking for extra toes, fingers, ears anything cause I needed to know why I was here. I knew my mom was crazy, when I woke up around 3 in the morning, I was going to the kitchen to find something to eat. what I found fucked me up,my big ass momma was standing at the counter ass naked eating some damn raisinbran cereal singing Walmart jingles. when I finally said what the hell is you doing she had the audacity to jump and say I scared her,in my head I’m thinking bitch you scared me and the 30 some flys hoovering around yo ass. I remember one time I came home from school it was a squirrel in front of our house staring at the window with his hand on his chin like he was in deep thought,as I got closer, he looked at me I looked at him he pointed to my mom, and said is this bitch crazy! I came for nuts,not some fat bitch singing jingles, ass naked, eating raising bran. OK I ain’t tell y’all I was a pimp, I’m not just any kind of pimp I’m a smart pimp. see I keep a bottle of baby powder at all times, at the beach, at the movies, at church you name it, but that’s not why I’m a smart pimp. see I pick and choose who I slap, like babies, old lady’s, midgets, blind people, cats ducks, squirrels shit like that, see I can’t be no pimp getting my ass whipped. I wouldn’t be a good example for my ladies, if my girl see me with a messed up jerry curl they ain’t gone take me serious.

Johnnie Harris
DOC #664626