Ashondre Speidel

FAMILY DISFUNCTIONS, by ASHONDRE SPEIDEL

GROWING UP IN MY HOUSE HOLD WAS DISFUNCTIONAL ALL I CAN REMEMBER HAPPENING WAS ALL THE BAD THINGS LIKE WHEN I WAS A KID IT WAS ME AND MY LITTLE SISTER WHO STAYED WITH OUR MOM AND DAD WE GREW UP IN THE GHETTO WHERE ALL YOU HEARD WAS GUN SHOTS AND POLICE SIRENS, MY CHILD HOOD WAS SO HORRIBLE BECAUSE OF MY FATHER, HE WAS A ALCOHOLIC WHO LOVED DRAMA HE WAS VERY CONTROLING HE WOULD GET DRUNK AND FIND REASONS TO PICK ARGUMENTS WITH MY MOM WHICH EVENTUALLY TURNED INTO PHYSICAL ARGUMENTS HE WOULD BEAT MY MOM UP FOR THE LITTLEST THINGS LIKE IF SHE DIDNT GO GET HIM BEER FROM THE STORE OR EVEN JUST COOK HIM FOOD HE WOULD BEAT HER IN FRONT OF ME AND MY SISTER, WHEN I WAS ABOUT 4 YEARS OLD THATS WHEN MY LIFE STARTED TO CHANGE ,I NEVER KNEW WHY MY DAD DIDNT LIKE ME I WAS JUST A INNOCENT KID AND DIDNT KNOW ANYTHING, WELL HE STARTED GETTING ABUSIVE WITH ME HE WAS BEATING ME FOR NO REASON I WOULD GO TO SCHOOL WITH BRUISES ALL OVER MY BODY KNOTS ALL IN MY HEAD FROM HIM PUNCHING ME, MY TEACHERS NEVER KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH ME AND WHY I ALWAYS CAME TO SCHOOL WITH BRUISES THEY WOULD CALL MY MOM AND MY MOM WOULD MAKE UP STORIES BECAUSE SHE WAS SCARED OF WHAT MY FATHER WOULD DO TO HER IF HE FOUND OUT MY MOM WAS SCARED OF HIM AND WAS EVEN SCARED TO LEAVE HIM SHE USE TO ALWAYS TRY TO PROTECT ME BUT NO MATTER WHAT SHE DID IT WOULD FALL BACK ON HER SHE WOULDNT EVEN GO TO THE POLICE MY MOM WAS ALSO ADOPTED SHE TRIED HER BEST TO KEEP ME OUT OF HARMS WAY EVEN IF IT MENT TO SACRIFICE HERSELF FOR ME, I USE TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME ALOT TO GET AWAY FROM HIM SO THATS WHEN I STARTED BEING OUT IN THE STREETS AND WAS LETTING THE STREETS RAISE ME BECAUSE THE LACK OF GUIDANCE THATS WHEN I STARTED LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES I BECAME VERY ANGRY AND FELT LIKE I DIDN’T HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR IT TURNED ME SAVAGE BUT AS I GOT OLDER I STARTED TO LEARN NEW THINGS ABOUT ME AND HOW I REALLY FELT DEEP INSIDE I FELT SOMETHING GREAT SOMETHING POSITIVE I FELT I HAD A HEART AGAIN I DIDNT WANT TO LET MY FATHER BE AN EXCUSE NO MORE FOR THE REASONS OF ME GETTING IN TROUBLE AND LETTING HIM MAKE ME FEEL LESS OF A MAN BECAUSE OF THE THINGS HE USE TO SAY TO ME. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS THERE WILL BE A PART 2

ASHONDRE SPEIDEL #670-415
TCI 5701 BURNETT RD.
LEAVITTSBERG OHIO , 44430
JPAY INFO SPEIDEL (A670-415)

Advertisements

2 replies »

  1. I can relate to this blog post so much it’s crazy. I know exactly how it does make you feel as a person growing up wondering why someone that is supposed to love you (your father) abuses you. Then others wonder why your so angry and violent, but just don’t give a F __K and peg you as nothing but a criminal. I am truly sorry that you had to go through that. However one of my favorite quotes is “God only gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers” Remember this too will pass and you can learn, grow and be a better man when you get out.

    Sincerey,
    Shar

    Like

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s