Note to self: We’ve been courageous & strong this long, so we won’t apologize for anything.
Damn really? You pawn me off on my father’s mother unti breath exhausted. You ought to be ashamed of yourself from the things that life tossed in. I was at a loss for words, but now i’m infuriated. To the present date we could never be civilized enough to split a plate & break bread with each other. Wow, & the fact that you gave birth to me makes you my mother. They treated my father like one of the mendez brothers, but you’re no better. The prosecution even led you to state things that you knew my dad would never. You still let this guilt consume you, even though i still reach out to you. Who would my father have been to let that dope baby starve & stay on the streets with his mother where he needed to be. Don’t judge me, the child died anyway from a body riddled with cocaine that got my father taken from me. 1981 until 2006, everything he missed & you failed to admit made my life what it is. I don’t point the finger though, & everyone has a choice, right? I did what i had to do, you kicked me out & called the police on me, told family i hit the pipe. Trifling as that was i still looked for a mothers love. Never got it, i know karma has to be knocking at the door until it’s rotten. I’ve popped columns, collected dollars until the collar was made for the puppy. Living without guidance, as long as i have call me lucky. Really it’s fuck me, & i can feel it deep without the words leaving your lips. In the same place i sit, damn, my pops did 25 years of this? Day for day, you didn’t stay, you married his cousin, so at the end of the day everything it was i thought it wasn’t. Trust is something that’s earned, just like respect that you lose by the minute. When i met you, you felt comfortable enough to call me denny. In reality, i’m the farthest thing from mad. Cause i had to be my best friend, worst enemy, my mom & my dad. The saddest thing about it all is that i never grieved properly for hattie lynn. I’m grateful for her sacrifice, it made me become a man. On the other hand, i have no relationship with my biological mother. To think that i have a younger sister & brother, but whatever. Let it be what it is & will be, cause at the end of the day without your help i found me. Crazy thing about everything, when you abandoned my father. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, i’m going through the same with my baby’s mama.
Dennis J. Watson