“Ventilation System” (JustVenting) By Timothy Kearney

“Whomever You Are”
How real it feels when I visualize my creation
When I visually see you I can’t wait til we meet my heart yearns with anticipation
Your eyes I look forward to gaze upon Lips I am dying to kiss
A person I’ve never met but someone I sincerely miss
A heart that has my love yet we haven’t spent one moment together
A woman I’m willing to give my heart 2 as well as be with forever
You’re the one who will get all that a woman needs from this man
Love,trust,communication,respect,loyalty..all that I can
In hopes that you’ll reciprocate what im looking for in her who I’ve created in my dreams
“Her”,far from flawless but perfect in every way perfection seems
Throughout this ordeal time is our enemy but it can also be our best friends
Because when the time comes for us to meet that will be the moment this journey with you will begin
The beginning of us this real love from within me you’ll have from day one
A love that you’ll have and will believe in until the earth no longer feels the Sun
My heart strives to be accepted by the one I’ve envisioned for so long
Its you who possesses the beauty that has my heart writing this poetic love song
A beauty tailored made specifically for the eyes of this one who searches
I lost love once before therefore when I find it I’ll never allow the thief of hearts to resurface
If you’ve never encountered true love before I promise to be the one who helps your heart overcome and conquer
Thank You for being you “Whomever You Are” the day we meet it will truly be an Honor..

At certain points during this “Bid” I relish going into isolation with my thoughts.. Mainly because it’s about my kids, music, writing, and “Her”..”Her”,she doesn’t have an inkling what she does for me..what she does for me and I don’t even know who she is..I always called myself a hopeless romantic because I want to love,I want to love “Her”..i want to give my love to “Her”..I want and need “Her” to love me just the same..but then I met a few women on the course of this “Bid”,I engaged in verbal conversations with them,I corresponded with them thru letters and emails, I was honest with them on who I was and who I am now… because the thought process on a relationship whether now or in the future is so hard..it’s drains you emotionally..it drains you mentally.. sometimes physically.. but to me its so worth it..i watch a lot if TV.. I study and observe relationships on alot of shows.. whether scripted or reality.. I garner as much info i can on how to make a relationship work…(Steve Harvey esp..)how to keep it positive and honest.. me personally I laid all my boyish/childish antics to rest.. especially as far as the relationship aspect goes..I truly believe that throughout this ordeal I’m a better person period.. In every characteristic possible.. but the one thing I do know is this..I’m still in here so its easier said then done..only actually going though the relationship experience will show who I’ve become..I also know that some women are very skeptical about being in a relationship with someone like myself because of our past..and for me it’s two women in particular i personally would like to try life with again but if not I don’t want to go backwards..I want to start off on a clean slate..I’ve written several “Ventilation System” letters about “Her” and I plan to share them with you and hope to receive some feedback whether good or bad..This walk I’m on is truly a test..its the one thing that makes this “Bid” worth it..if that’s even possible.. because this time away from my Family will never be worth it but I’ll turn this negative into a positive..

Timothy Kearney
DOC #1174098

Categories: poems, Timothy Kearney

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